Page 58 of The Heiress Gets a Duke
Perhaps it was the affection in her eyes, or it could havebeen the care in her touch, but something made his throat tighten. It took a moment before he was able to say, “I did. I am quite certain that I hounded him mercilessly when we were children. He was endlessly trying to read while I wanted him to play with me.”
“When you love someone, I don’t think the passing years mean very much. Yesterday, or several years, the pain of their loss is still there.”
The ache came back to his throat, forcing him to swallow several times. When he could finally speak, his voice was a hoarse whisper. “How do you know?”
“I never lost a brother, but I was close to my grandfather Augustus. He died when I was a child, and I still remember the very moment I learned of his death. Despite what Papa says,hewas the first one to encourage me to work at Crenshaw Iron.”
Evan found himself absently rubbing his thumb over her fingers, but he could not compel himself to stop. She only gave his hand a squeeze. Pushing away thoughts of William, he said, “It must have been difficult for you without a champion.”
“Maxwell has always supported me, and Papa does, too, though he wavers in his support, but I can hardly complain.” She smiled at him, and the simple kindness threatened to break something inside him. It quivered in his chest, like a dam on the verge of giving way.
When Evan was away at school, it was William who had sent him notes of support. Father only ever sent terse replies to Evan’s requests, almost all of them pleas for an early allowance, and almost all of them refused. When Father scoffed at the idea of Evan being involved in owning and operating a club for gentlemen, William had silently listened and offered encouragement.
“Rothschild?” Her voice was full of concern as were her eyes.
He glanced away from them and toward the fire. He shook his head as if it were nothing, but the words came pouring out of him anyway. “William should be the one sitting here. Not me.” She did not respond but merelyleaned against the table, her breath and the sound of the rain pattering on the window the only sounds. “He was always so studious, so prepared. He was meant to be duke.”
She put her hand on his shoulder, and he had to close his eyes against the need to pull her into his arms. To turn to her and seek the comfort she offered. If he did that, he was afraid that the dam would open and everything would come pouring out. There would be no better way to send her scurrying away from him than to do that. Instead, he allowed the pain of loss to flow through him with every beat of his heart, absorbing each pulse like a blow.
He admonished himself to be quiet, but the words came anyway. “He would be so much better for the family. I have done nothing but make things worse in the past year. He would have figured out a way to improve the situation.”
“Evan.” Her voice was wrought with the very pain in his heart.
At his name, he jerked in surprise and met her gaze. To his utter astonishment, her eyes were bright with tears. Before he knew it, she had pulled him against her front, and his shoulders were shaking with the effort of suppressing the ache inside him.
“No,” he whispered, but his fists had found their way to her skirts and were not letting her go. He felt like an observer outside his own body.
“Shh... it’s all right to feel the way you do.” Her fingers tightened in the hair at the back of his head, and she spoke against his temple. “It must have been a shock to lose him.”
He closed his eyes and allowed himself a weak moment to rest his cheek against her breasts and breathe her in. “He had a heart defect. The physicians believe it was congenital but lay dormant for years.” Her fingers stroked the back of his head in a way that felt like heaven. Shivers of pleasure raced down his spine and wound themselves around the aching wound of his heart.
“How terrible,” she whispered, her breath teasing his ear as she halfway bent over him. “You are doing a remarkable job in his stead. He would be proud of you.”
Evan tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob that hemuffled against her breasts. “He thought I spent too much time drinking and cavorting with loose women. He was right.”
“Perhaps before, but you have done an admirable job in your tenure as duke. You’ve had nothing to work with, and yet you’ve kept the creditors appeased.”
He shook his head, unable to speak past the lump in his throat.
“And you will find a way to continue to do so. I do not know very much about him, but I daresay that William would not have fared nearly as well. Scholarly pursuits won’t help you when you find yourself in dire circumstances and a flailing dukedom.”
He could not look at her for fear that he would lose his composure, but she would have none of that and gently took his face between her hands. “Would he have been equipped to write the extensive plans for improvement as you have done?”
“He was the one to first broach the topic of mechanized equipment with Father.” His voice belonged to someone else. He could not recognize it.
“Ah, but your father refused. Correct?”
Evan nodded.
“And I am guessing William did not follow through on his own.”
“No, after Father refused, he returned to his books.” Evan glanced toward the bookcase filled with every bit of classic literature William had amassed.
She followed his glance and said, “And continued to indulge his passion for antique and expensive manuscripts?”
He nodded.
She smiled tenderly. “Would he have been willing to hunt down his very own heiress?”
