Page 35 of The Bastard Heir
She could tell he was fighting it, but his lips tipped up in a smile at the reminder of how he’d lied about the abrasion on his cheekbone. “Castillo.” She sat down beside him on the bed,unsure of what she wanted to say, but knowing that she wanted to reach him. After last night, things had changed between them. Something special was happening.
“Don’t, Carolina.” He reached out and covered her hand with his right one. A flicker of awareness came to life in her belly at exactly the same time her mind was telling her to leave him alone, that he was a dangerous man. There was naked longing on his face, despite his words.
“But—”
“You’re good at what you do.” He indicated the wound on his shoulder. “You’ve got a nice touch. I can understand why you’d want to be a physician.”
She noted the fact that he was trying to change the subject, but allowed it to happen. “My mother thinks I should take up nursing. Actually, she thinks I should have nothing to do with patients and marry a physician if I absolutely must support the profession.” She gave him a self-deprecating smile. “But at least in nursing she can imagine me as a sort of Florence Nightingale bringing hope to the sick.”
“And you can’t do that as a physician?”
She shrugged. “Yes. I admit to not understanding her reasoning, either.”
He smiled again, and his gaze flicked to where their hands met. She didn’t know if he realized that he was absently rubbing his thumb over hers. Taking a breath, she decided to just confront him. “Castillo, last night—”
“I killed someone today.” He blurted out the words before she could finish. “Today four men are dead because of me. Two by my own gun.”
“Oh.” She sucked in a breath because it felt like the air in the room had become too heavy to breathe. “But they were connected with Derringer. Right?” She only realized that she’dbeen holding her breath when he nodded and she let it out slowly.
“There was a shootout,” he explained, but he didn’t elaborate. She realized how tired he looked. There were shadows under his eyes and his skin was pale.
“You had to defend yourself, Castillo.”
“Did I?” He let go of her and raked his hand through his hair, keeping his left arm immobile across his stomach. “That’s what I thought at one time. But look what’s happened. My brother Miguel was almost killed. Kidnapped by enemies I’ve made in my quest for vengeance. That’s why I insisted he go back East to school. I wanted him away from all of this.”
“That’s understandable. You’re looking out for him.”
“You’re missing my point, Carolina.” He took her hand again and shifted so that he faced her. “Last night I let things go too far, because the truth is that I really like you, too. But I’m not good for you. I put everyone I love in danger. Whatever is between us can’t go further.”
Her heart pounded and she couldn’t help but turn her hand over in his so that they were palm to palm. She nodded because she understood that, even while something inside her fought against it. “I’m going to school in September. Won’t you return home to your hacienda in Texas…once everything is over with Derringer?”
“I’ll need to rebuild. Somehow.” He nodded and squeezed her hand. “You understand? This can’t last.”
She did understand. She saw it so clearly that it made her heart ache. “I know.”
He groaned and pulled her closer, catching her under the chin to lift her mouth to his. It was as if accepting the inevitability of their parting had finally given them permission for this small indulgence. His mouth covered hers and before she knew it her hands were in his hair, holding him closer. They kissed until theyran out of air and then he buried his face in her neck. “Carolina,” he whispered, his day’s growth of beard tickling her sensitive skin. “I’ll never get enough of your smell.” His mouth sucked at her flesh. “Can I stay for a little while?”
“Yes, please stay.” She should make him go, but she couldn’t. If this was all the time they had, she wanted so much more than she knew he’d be willing to give her.
He drew back to look at her face while she tried to memorize the exact shade of gold and green of his eyes. Leaning forward, as if giving her time to pull away, he kissed her again, his good arm going around her to draw her even closer, and then he pushed her back on the bed. He rose up on his right arm over her and gently pulled off her spectacles, setting them on the bedside table. She couldn’t help but touch his beloved face, her fingers tracing the strong contours of his cheekbones and jaw before running over his full bottom lip. She didn’t want to think that she could love him already, but the ache in her chest certainly felt like something close to it.
He kissed her fingertips, before moving to lay beside her and drawing her against his chest. Caroline curled into him, more comforted by his strength and warmth than she’d anticipated. He kissed the top of her head as she settled her cheek against his chest, and his right arm curled around her. As his hand stroked up and down her back, she listened to the sound of his heartbeat beneath her ear. After a while, the laudanum took effect and his breathing shifted to long, deep breaths as he drifted off to sleep. She tried to savor the moment for as long as she could and then she followed him into sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
“Carolina.”
The whisper called her from a dreamless sleep. It was Castillo’s voice, deep and raspy, and so close she would’ve sworn she felt it vibrate through her. It wasn’t him, though. It was the dream Castillo, the one who had come to her once or twice before and promised to make her feel good. She always woke up before they ever got to the good part. This time, she was determined to see the dream through.
He said her name again. It was so close that his warm breath seemed to brush past her ear. Her skin prickled with goose flesh. Teeth nibbled the lobe of her ear followed by a gentle bite to her neck, which he soothed with the hot, wet lap of his tongue. That sensation was so real that she couldn’t help but open her eyes.
She was in her bedroom, but it wasn’t completely dark. The oil lamp still burned low on the bedside table. Castillo’s strong body was pressed against her from behind and he gently sucked at her neck. She closed her eyes against the tremor of pleasure that moved through her.
“You’re awake.” His right hand, which was curled beneath her, pressed against her belly to pull her back against him. He was hard. That male part of him was like iron against her bottom. She opened her eyes wide at the realization, and her body responded instinctively. Her breasts tightened, and a pulse beat between her thighs. She knew she was wet there, too. It was exactly how she’d felt last night. Her blood seemed heavy, while at the same time her heart pounded out an excited rhythm.
“Castillo.” Instinctively she pressed her hips back against him, relishing his hard length against her buttocks and the way it intensified the ache building inside her.
“Carolina,” he whispered, dragging his mouth along her neck to the narrow strip of flesh bare above her collarbone before it disappeared into her night rail. Then he pressed forward, thrusting his hips into the softness of her body.
