Page 78 of The Not So Super Hero
“Yeah,” Zane moaned.He had such a long day.Couldn’t he nap forever?
“You’ve been lost in that vacant place between your ears all day.”
He hummed.He hadn’t even the energy to conjure a witty retort.His reflexes were slow, movements sloppy and attacks predictable.He hadn’t beaten Nate or Natalia once.Normally, they were pretty on par with each other.Perhaps it was his fault for not doing as Bailey asked, or it was because he was actually considering doing as Bailey asked.The question of how or when bugged him most was because what the hell was he meant to say?
What would Bailey say here?He excelled at getting others to talk and patience for answers.Zane did not possess such abilities.Thinking about it gave him a headache.He rather not talk about what it did to his heart.The amount of work it was getting lately probably cut ten years off his life.He was kind of ok with that though.Living past sixty sounded like a hassle.
“Is something wrong?Are you and Bailey fighting?”Natalia sat beside him.She stretched out her legs, feet swaying back and forth to knock against Zane’s leg.
“We’re not fighting.”There it was again, that damn annoying tension.Zane wasn’t sure what coaxed him into asking, “Are you still angry with me?”
“Huh?”
“For what happened at Raiffel?Are you still angry?”Zane’s voice was so low, Natalia strained herself to hear him.
Scowling, she shook her head.“I was never angry.I’ve told you that a hundred times.”
“And I still don’t believe you.”
“That’s because you’re angry with yourself and hope others are too in order to continue hating yourself.”
Zane flinched.
“What brought this on?Last I checked, you wanted to pretend like the past never happened,” Natalia spat, frowning.
“Bailey said I should try talking with you and Nate.”
“Oh, I see.Whatever the hubby wants he gets, huh?”
Zane didn’t give Natalia the pleasure of teasing him further.He shrugged.“Since we’ll be together for a while, I figured it’d be best to talk about it.”
Natalia gave Zane a disbelieving look.“Like you’re willing to talk about Isaiah.”
Zane sat up, bringing his knees up so that he could lean against them.His body tensed, hands shaking.He gripped his pants, almost tearing the fabric.
“See, you’re ready to bolt already,” said Natalia.
That was true.Hearing Isaiah’s name was like nails on a chalkboard.The room shrank with each breath.Zane felt like passing out.For once, it wasn’t because of his own laziness.
“I’m not angry.At first I was disappointed, but I know I wouldn’t be any better if I were you.I’ll never blame you for what happened.Raiffel was a twisted place where we were forced to commit acts we would never dream of doing, and there was nothing we could do about it.Do you hear me, Zane?”Natalia pressed her hand to his shoulder, pushing him back so she could see his face.He refused to meet her gaze.“There is nothing we could have done, nothing you could have done to change what happened, and you need to forgive yourself for it.”
Forgiveness was something he felt he would never give.Natalia could see that without him saying it.
“Listen, if you should talk to anyone, it’s Nate.”Natalia sighed.She pressed her hand to Zane’s back to rub soothing circles.“You’re his idol after all.”
“You mean I was,” Zane corrected.
“Honestly, you two are getting on my nerves.You’ll always be his idol.Why do you think he’s so tough on you?”
“Because he’s an ass.”
“Coming from the biggest asshole we know.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you two calling it quits for the day or what?”Nate called.He and Chris stepped out of a door in the middle of the street that led to the watch room.
“Yeah, let’s call it for the day!”Natalia shouted, hopping onto her feet.She glanced from her brother to Zane, then back.“Chris, let’s grab something to eat.The boys need to talk.”
