Page 94 of The Not So Super Hero
Zane chose not to respond.No matter what Bailey said, he felt like shit.Not only had his past returned to haunt him.Now, that past affected his future, what he hoped to continue being part of his future.He wished he had the confidence to tell Bailey everything would be alright, but he didn’t.He had no fucking clue what to do or say because, deep down, he didn’t believe he could beat Antoine.Zane felt weak.No matter what others said, he wasn’t as grand as they made him out to be.Maybe he had always been mediocre, but in the worst of ways.
“Zane,” Bailey called.“I’m not going anywhere.”
Zane twisted his fingers into the fabric of Bailey’s hospital gown.
“Even after all this and even after I learn the truth, I know that, no matter what, I’m still going to be here with you.I promise.”
“Are you sure about that?”he whispered, retreating to meet Bailey’s deep green gaze.His stern expression spoke; he believed in Zane.
“I’m sure,” Bailey said.
Zane’s hands dropped to rest around Bailey’s shoulders.He never thought the day would come when he would talk about Isaiah.Hell, he never thought he would even consider it, yet there he sat, looking at Bailey who was waiting so patiently to hear the truth.His heart twisted and turned, beat his ribcage until it became bruised, then screamed at him to stop, don’t do it, keep it in like he always had.Except Zane knew he couldn’t do that.Not with Antoine around.Not with the chance of the bastard getting into Bailey’s head.
“What did he say?”Zane asked.
“Antoine said you killed Isaiah.”
“And if I told you I did?”
Bailey’s breath hitched.
“Are you telling yourself there’s a catch?”Zane asked, tone dark.“Are you telling yourself that I was forced to do it?Maybe it was an accident because you don’t want to believe I’m a murderer.”
“After spending such little time with Antoine, I can already tell how fucked up he is,” Bailey countered.“It isn’t that I can’t believe it, but I know it isn’t true.I want you to tell me everything from start to finish.I don’t want to hear how you view yourself or how you hope others see you.I know you haven’t told me everything so, tell me about your childhood, how you survived with Antoine as a father.Tell me about Raiffel, Nate and Natalia, everything that happened with Isaiah.After you do, I’ll decide on my own.”
Bailey looked into Zane’s quivering blue eyes that were far more than hesitant.There was honest to God fear in them.His body shook, toes curled beneath the covers, and jaw clenched tightly shut.
However, it had to be done.Zane knew that, he always knew that, and it just took all these years and meeting Bailey for him to finally cave except, he wasn’t the only one that needed to talk.
“So long as you promise to tell me about your sister,” Zane spoke softly like he was worried Bailey would shatter at the mere mention of her.
Bailey’s face paled.Eyes wide and gaze averted to the floor.His bottom lip trembled, but he gave a hesitant nod.Then their food arrived, granting a brief moment of reprieve.A silence lingered.They ate slowly, stalling to get their thoughts together, to breathe.To remain in the present where neither knew the deepest and most secret parts of their lives.
However, the time eventually came when they finished their meals and had to face reality.Bailey pushed aside their trays so that nothing sat between them other than their own fears eating away at them.
“I can go first,” he suggested, earning himself a shocked gaze from Zane.“I imagine mine is shorter.”
Zane had no argument there and so he waited for Bailey to take a deep breath and begin.
“Rose Mary was five years younger than me.Sometimes I watched her when our parents had date night.We normally rode our bikes around town or had a movie marathon, nothing spectacular, and I made a couple of bucks.But one night, Rosie and I got into a fight.She didn’t want to go inside after it had gotten dark.I called her annoying because she kept arguing with me and then,” Bailey sniffled.Tears stained his pink cheeks.He wiped them away, struggling to compose himself.Thinking of her, even uttering her name, had become almost sacrilegious.An immediate trail of sorrow he never wanted to tread.
“If you need to stop, we can,” Zane said.
But Bailey had to, so he did.“She yelled at me, and her mutation showed.Everything shook.I was flung out of the garage.It crashed around her.Gasoline leaked out of the car.An electrical line had been cut and what remained of the garage caught fire.Rosie was still in there.”
He glared at his lap, where his nails dug into the scars on his hands.Every word spat out between his teeth, “I couldn’t get her out.A neighbor barely prevented me from jumping in after her.Afterwards, the, um…the coroner told us the collapse killed her, but I know I heard her.I heard her in there and I couldn’t get to her.”
Bailey’s shoulders shook.His trembling hands pressed against a heaving chest, tears in his eyes and quivering lips.He was every description of messed up.Everyone was accustomed to Bailey being a ball of sunshine, positivity itself in human form, yet the person sitting before Zane was broken and in pain.
Zane wished to take away that pain, though all that came to mind no doubt had been said before.Even if Bailey had a mutation, what were the chances of getting her out of such a blaze had she survived the collapse?Yet Bailey clung to the idea that if he was different, if he had power, he could have changed her fate, that being human wasn’t good enough.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Zane said because he couldn’t think of anything else.
“But I should have been able to do something.”
“You did do something.You didn’t hesitate to try to help her.Your hands are proof of that.Why can’t you forgive yourself for an accident that you couldn’t have changed?”
“Because it was my job to protect her!It didn’t matter if she was stronger than me.It didn’t matter how old she got or if she ever left home.I’m the big brother!I’m the one she ran to for support, and I’m the one she knew would help and protect her no matter what, but I didn’t.I failed her when she needed me most, and now she’s dead.A girl who never even got a chance to live because of Bad Luck Bailey.”Bailey choked on his tears.His heart twisted in his chest with every passing word.“Because I’m not a hero and I never will be.”
