Page 40 of Xerxes Ascendant
“I know,” Kyle answered moodily. “Why the stars are you still seeing clients?
Akira sighed, the sound brief but weary. Did he think he was doing it by choice?Spending every night away from his business and his staff andKyle, spreading his legs for anyone who would pay? “You know I owe a lot of credits.”
“You don’t owe your old Masteranything, not after what that prick did!”
“Kyle...”
“No. Fuck Theta.” The blonde cocked his head, reconsidering, and then scowled. “Fuck him with something that isn’t you. Somethingunpleasurable, damn it.”
“Kyle,” Akira said again. “He sold my debt to one of the gangs. If I don’t pay, they’ll collect it in something other than credits.”
Kyle was still for a long moment. “I see,” he said eventually, in a painfully calm voice that wasn’t like his at all. “You should have said something earlier.”
There was unspoken accusation there, Akira knew, and he felt the piercing pain of that more acutely than if Kyle had voiced it aloud. Because there were always more secrets with him, wasn’t there? No matter how deep Kyle dug, or what he coaxed Akira to share, there was always more he hadn’t. More that he was keeping to himself.
That ended now.
“You asked for space from me,” murmured Akira, checking they were still alone in the damp, narrow alleyway. The neon sign buzzed above their heads, casting Kyle’s face into sharp, shadowed relief and emphasising the vivid blue in his eyes. “But there’s too much I need to tell you, starting with how much Ihate myself for not doing so earlier. For letting Theta share with you what I should have done myself. For not giving you every last piece of me, when it was the least of what you deserve.”
“Master,” Kyle chided, refusing to meet his gaze as Akira closed in on him. “Don’t. We said we’d keep it professional.”
Akira would die happy if he never heard that fucking word again in his life.
The blonde made to slip away to where the alley fed back into the street, hunching his shoulders back into the sorrow he’d been visibly drowning in ever since that fateful night.
“Please,” Akira begged after him. He thought about everything he’d ever learnt about how peopleworked,but none of it was helpful, even though it was Kyle who had taught him most of it. How was he supposed to…how did peopledothis? “Please stay?”
Kyle didn’t stop. Emotion overruling both common sense and decency, Akira’s simmering despair got the best of him. He lunged forward and grabbed Kyle’s shoulder, ignoring his forlorn attempt to shake him off. And then Akira pinned the larger man’s back against the wall, his hand cupping his lowered chin and forcing it upwards until their eyes met.
“No. Fuckprofessional.We’re going to talk, Kyle.”
Kyle levelled him with a fierce scowl and smacked at his hand. “I don’t want to fucking talk.”
Akira didn’t let go, merely tightening his grip to keep his man from fleeing from him once more. Despicable conduct, he knew, but he was done with this whole mess. Let Kyle see Akira for exactly what he was, his shitty, dark side included. He was exposing it all to the light.
“I’m exercising my prerogative as Master of your House,” Akira growled in his face. “Youwilllisten.” He heaved out a shaky breath, suddenly more terrified than he’d ever been in hislife. “And afterwards, if you wish it, you do not have to ever see me again.”
“Akira! It’s not that I don’t want to…stars,” Kyle swore, writhing helplessly against the wall. “I trusted you! And that trust is hard to mend, okay? But if you think I don’t still…”
He fell devastatingly silent, robbing Akira of what he was sure would have been something precious and heartfelt.
But if Kyle couldn’t find the right words, then what hope did Akira have? He’d only say the wrong thing like he always did when emotions became involved…would sound callous when he’d been trying for pragmatic, be abrasive or rude or unfriendly.
Perhaps he shouldn’t try. If he didn’t, he’d never have Kyle beyond this stupidprofessionalshit, but if he did, and fucked it up?
He could lose him entirely. Lose those joyful, carefree laughs, lose the man’s genuine and reassuring presence, lose scenes like they’d had the other day. Even kept at metaphorical arm’s length, Akira had enjoyed himself.
He was grateful that Theta’s revelation of his secret had only lost Kyle as his boyfriend and not sent the man bolting from his life entirely...but if he pushed more, that could easily be the outcome.
As Akira froze in indecision, terrified and unsure, Kyle made a noise in his throat and grabbed both of his arms. Spinning them around, his blue eyes flashed in what Akira recognised as all his own emotions mirrored back at him – frustration, fear, need, and a tentative hope – and after pinning Akira to the wall instead, he leaned in to kiss him.
It was quick. Shallow. A mere brushing of their lips, but it tasted like pure exhilaration and the promise of possibility.
Kyle bit his lip. “Did that help?”
“Yes,” Akira breathed, not shamed by the admission. Kyle had always known how to help him stop overthinking things when it came to dealing with people and talking about emotional shit, but kissing all his panic and confusion away was...certainly a new method.
Kyle didn’t move to do it again, but neither did he let go. He held Akira firmly against the wall with those broad arms of his, not allowing him the option to leave in retaliation of what Akira had done to him a few moments ago, and looked expectantly at his employer and former boyfriend.
