Page 53 of Hero Hair
“Know you in what regard? I’m trying to remedy the only way in which I’m not familiar with you right now.” Macs holds up the wine glass.
“Because I know you’re a SEAL and now I know your real name and that you don’t do relationships. Sure there are other things I know about you, but I don’t know what makes you you.”
Now he looks a little stunned. He swallows a sip of wine and brings me my glass. I drink it down in four large gulps and brush a drip off my chin with the sleeve of my sweater.
“What makes me me?” I ask.
He’s looking at me with wide eyes.
“I know. I’m a little nuts. Get over it.”
“That was a nice bottle of wine. What did you think of it?”
I look down at the empty glass and feel mortified.
“Want another glass?” he asks, dimples popping.
“Please.”
He sets his glass down and returns with another glass and hands it to me. His hand shakes a little as he extends the cup and that ratchets my anxiety to another level. Why is he nervous?
I take a small sip and actually taste the Chardonnay this time. It’s perfect. The finish is fucking perfect. “Oh my God, this is so good. What is it?” I swirl it around in my glass a few times and take another sip. I moan.
He tells me the name and finally I relax back against the sofa.
“Better?” he asks, sipping his own.
He tells me the blend and year and how he has a few other bottles. He says he loves white wine, but feels like he can’t drink it unless he’s with a woman. I tell him white wine isn’t just for chicks, and he tells me it’s akin to a Piña Colada. Another girly drink he loves to imbibe. I’m laughing in no time. And he’s effectively flipped the mood in the room to something more bearable.
He clears his throat and meets my gaze. “You grew up in a family where your mom was everything and then some. Your dad was important until he broke your trust. It’s why you don’t trust yourself enough to trust. You’re trying to keep plants alive, which tells me you’d like to have a pet eventually.” He pauses to gauge my reaction.
I smile, urging him to continue.
“You’re a nice person. It’s why I’m having a hard time with this.” The smile vanishes from his face.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t usually care enough to do any of this. You know that. And, well, I can’t explain it, but whatever is between us is,” he replies, looking at the ceiling and bringing a thick hand through his gorgeous hair.
“This is more,” I say.
Carina is so wise.
His gaze flicks back to mine. It dips to my chest and back up. “Yes. I don’t know what that means. I don’t want to go on my apps. I don’t want to date other women because all I can think about is you. It started off as a challenge and I want you to know that. My intention was to fuck you and forget you, Teala. I never wanted things to get this far. I still don’t even know how we got here,” he says, waving a muscled arm around the room. “You are sitting there like some fucking illusion and I’m sitting here wondering how you got there and I know damn well how you got there.” His voice is loud, angrier than I think it should be.
I understand everything he’s saying.
“I put you there because you deserve to be there.”
“I feel the same way.” Reaching out, I take his hand in mine.
He closes his fist around my fingers, and I flinch.
His eyes are a little frantic as he looks at my hand. “You’re not a fucking illusion. And you mean more than I want you to.”
This is Macs doing emotions. I didn’t even have to ask him. Carina was right about everything. He’s just as fucking scared as I am.
“I’m scared too. I’ve never done this either.” Suddenly the only desire I have is to take my clothes off and give myself to him. The elephant in the room might disappear when we’re both in our element.
