Page 36 of Almost Had You

Rolling up my window, I fiddle with the controls on the A/C. “You came from blessed circumstances, too. Don’t act like you were running around the corner store with jiffy feet and hand-me-down pants.”

Mercer chortles. “Jiffy feet. You know people up here won’t understand some of your…colloquialisms, right?”

“Who doesn’t know what jiffy feet are? That’s an obvious one. Black feet from running around the jiffy store barefoot.”

He pauses his laughter only to inform me that people up north may not even know what a jiffy store is. I’ve visited other places around the United States over the years, but I never compared myself to others because I knew we weren’t like them. Not in any way, shape, or form. Now that I’ll be living in a completely different climate, these are actual things I’ll need to take into consideration, or get ready to do some apologizing and explaining.

I see hedges shaping the words Cape Cod and I know we’re finally nearing our destination and my backside cheers in relief.

“Now that we’re almost here, give me the summary.”

“Summary of what?” I ask, glancing at him from the side. He’s grinning wide, one wrist on top of the wheel, the other hand fisted and against the side of his head. It makes me happy to know that he is in fact just as uncomfortable as I am. He’s just used to living in barbaric conditions.

“The summary of our drive. We’ve been stuck in a car together; without any road head, might I add. Tell me what you’ve learned about me. I’ll return the favor after.”

“With road head?” I quip.

“If you want, but was thinking you’d want to know the important things I learned about you.”

Stretching my neck, I grab my Chapstick from the pocket in the door and smear some more on. “Fine. Go on. Tell me what you’ve learned.” I pull my legs up underneath my body and clasp my hands in my lap.

He glances at me, a quick, just to be sure gesture, and places both hands on the wheel. He opens his mouth to speak, and closes it again, his strong jaw working. “You didn’t wake up like this,” he says, clearing his throat. “This has always been inside you. The will. The fight. The desire for something more has always been waiting. You aren’t letting your fears dictate which self you allow yourself to embrace anymore. You can do this, I know, because the same things live inside me. Have always been there.”

He stuns me silent. After a beat or two, I nod. “That’s pretty deep.”

“Did you expect some kiddy pool stuff?”

I shake my head. “No, but how did you figure all of that out.”

I can tell he’s not going to hold back, and I brace against whatever is coming next. “Growing up, everyone always assumed you were acting too good, or you thought you were better than others because of the family you were born into.” He makes a turn, and memories from my past trickle in. He’s right, and again, I never gave it a second thought. “It wasn’t because of the family you were born into. You acted that way because you were always destined for more than what others expected of you. Sure, you never dated any of the guys in high school and everyone thought you were an Ice Queen because of it.”

I hold a finger in the air. “Daddy wouldn’t let me date,” I explain. “And I was always friendly to everyone. I was a friend to everyone.”

He nods. “I know that. We are a product of our surroundings and somehow you managed to get it.”

“Get what?” I ask, swallowing the love sized lump pressing against my throat.

“Life. What’s it about. Helping others. Saving the people who can’t save themselves. Even with the pageants when you were younger, I remember you had the same platform. Helping. Four Leaf Clover, you’re a helper in a world of taking. You aren’t anything like what people think you are.”

“I appreciate that. You saying that. It’s easy to forget when you’re so busy living life. Or maybe the helping gets all foggy while I’ve been trying to find my own happiness because it’s such a selfish thing. To abandon causes.” I think of the shelter and a pang of regret hits me square in the chest.

“It will always be there, and those people will always have somewhere to go because of you. You did more for Greenton than any politician could hope to achieve. Be proud.”

“That’s all you learned about me on this drive? Sounds like you’ve known this for a while.”

He lifts and lowers one bulky shoulder. “Needed an excuse to compliment you.”

“You never need an excuse to compliment a lady.”

Mercer reaches for my hand over the console. I take it. “You like cake over ice cream, white wine over most everything else, you love your family, you’ve always wanted a bird, but never had the courage to kill something other than a plant.”

I squeeze his hand. “Hey, that’s not nice. I mean, it’s true though and I hate that.”

His thumb slides across the pad of my hand. “You only like old country music, not that new stuff.” Mercer nods to the radio where some hip, new country song is playing.

“I’m a purist. What can I say?”

“You are pure, Clover and it scares me. You scare me.”

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