Page 37 of Almost Had You

It’s my turn to glance over. I see it then. “You’re scared of little ole’ me?” I razz, tilting my head.

He snuffs out a breath. “You have no idea.” Mercer turns down a small street next to a mom and pop grocer. The speed limit is fifteen, and after being on the interstate for so long, this feels like a crawling pace. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do.” My father’s words echo, and I think they may have gotten to Mercer Ballentine.

He pulls into a neatly kept duplex and I know we’ve arrived. The houses look completely different from what I’m used to and as I take note of the differences, the words I want to say twist in my mind.

“Mercer,” I say. He puts the car in park and looks at me. The fact that we’re stopped and neither of us are exiting the vehicle immediately says a lot about what we’re feeling. “Most of the time I’m on autopilot because that’s what it takes to get through a busy day—a busy life. There are moments of happiness, a joke shared with someone via text, that first sip of latte in the morning, my favorite show, but they’re fleeting things, just part of the script I’ve accepted.” His beautiful eyes flicker with an indescribable emotion. “For the first time in my life, I’m feeling what it’s like to live because I’m happy. I am in love. Every moment is filled with exhilaration and promise.” I blink away a tear. “And you’re to blame for it.”

A blinding grin crosses his face. “There you go blaming me again.”

“I’m serious,” I say. “My legs are about to go gangrene and fall off, but I want you to know that I choose you. I want you. Because you’re one of the kindest, most honorable people I know. Because you are strong and vulnerable at the same time, you’re a Southern purist reformed in only the best kind of ways. Mercer, you are ungodly beautiful, and your heart is the softest place I’ve ever landed. You are my decision and if that still scares you, well we have some different problems to tackle.”

“That’s what you learned about me then?”

“That’s the gist of it,” I say. “Everyone knows you’re awesome. I just realized you’re my kind of awesome.”

Mercer lays a hand on the door handle, and I do the same. “You can’t get gangrene by sitting in a car too long, by the way.”

Raising my brows, I say, “I know.” I don’t know, but I do now. We exit the car and I tell Mercer where Goldie put the hide-a-key. It’s under the girl garden gnome, next to the yellow tulips. He grabs the key while stretching out his legs. I make a show of dancing, arms and legs jiggling to get the kinks out. “I moved too quick and now I have to pee,” I exclaim, crossing my legs at the ankles.

He slides the key into the lock, and I can see his hesitance. He opens the door and holds out an arm for me to go first. I feel Mercer’s eyes burning a hole in the side of my head as I take in my new home so different than my last. The bathroom is easy to find, and I stare at the wall as I pee quickly and wander back to the living room. There’s a sofa, a coffee table, and the small kitchen is feet away. I hear the door click shut and Mercer announces he’s going to find the thermostat to get the air pumping. I realize minutes have passed and I haven’t said a word.

“Mercer,” I call out, standing in front of the queen-sized bed in the sole bedroom. Under my breath, I whisper, “Farm truck.”

He’s right next to me and I didn’t realize it. “How bad is it on a scale of one to having a panic attack and requiring medical services?”

“I love it. It’s perfect, I just need to ask you a question.”

He snakes an arm around my waist. “Anything.”

I swallow hard. “I pretty much told you I’m in love with you and you didn’t really reciprocate.”

He spins me to look at him, hands on my shoulders. “I feel the same. I thought I made my feelings abundantly clear. I rode in a car with you for a solid day.”

My heart pounds as I gaze into his eyes. “You love me enough to help me paint the walls in this joint?”

He chuckles, lifting one brow. “Really? The walls? That’s it? You know when you rent you can’t just paint the walls, right? You have to ask your landlord.”

“It’s the same color as my bedroom in Greenton. Any other color. Literally. Any other color. You pick it. We cover the walls with it. Goldie will let me paint.”

He nods, looking around, taking mental measurements. He rattles off how much paint and supplies we’ll need and moves into the kitchen, calling out questions as he goes. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t jarring realizing that this is my new home. There is no pomp or circumstance in between these walls. There isn’t priceless artwork or rugs that you can’t walk on top of. The furniture, while new, as Goldie promised, came from one of those stores inside a mall, not a custom store overseas. I wander into the living room and see Mercer, hands perched on his hips, gazing at the blank space above the couch.

“I got an idea for up there,” he says, shaking a finger at the wall.

“Yeah?” I reply.

“You trust me?”

“Obviously, I do. I spent a day in the car with you,” I say, smirking. “By the way, how far away do you live from here?” I know the Cape is a small town, but when compared to Greenton it’s probably ten times the size. The Cape might as well be a metropolis in comparison to what I’m used to.

Taking my hand in his, he walks us to the front bay window and stabs a finger at the house across the street. It is a two-story house with light green doors and shutters. It’s the same style as my duplex, but much larger. “I’d fathom it’s about sixty yards door to door,” he says. “Give or take.” The relief I feel is tinged with something else, something inappropriate and carnal. He’ll be close to me. “But I’m leaving, and it will be empty until I get back. Maybe you can keep it up for me?”

“I can’t believe you’re that close. It’s so ironic…that even here we’ll be in spitting distance. Why don’t you have any roommates? It looks like it’s big enough.”

He clears his throat. “Well, it was what was available when I needed a place and well, I’ve gotten to an age where when I’m home, I want my peace, and things my own way. I considered getting a roommate when I first purchased it, but it’s easier to just worry about myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when I told you the address of my place?”

Mercer sighs. “I figured it would be best to tell you just like this.” He runs a hand through his hair and pulls his arm across his chest to stretch.

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