Page 46 of Almost Had You

Her eyes narrow as she pulls off the lid of the smaller rectangular box. “Definitely not a pearl necklace then, is it?” Clover teases, pulling tissue paper out and setting it next to her. Her hand pauses when she sees what’s inside. Her gaze flies to mine in the monitor.

Play it cool, fucker,I remind myself.

“A dildo!” she hisses, pulling her hand away from it like it might burn her. She fans her face. “Oh, heavens above. What in the wild blue Earth were you thinking?”

I laugh, an uneasy noise. “Wait, wait, before you fling it across the room, I need you to know that it’s not just any dildo.”

She swallows hard. “Is it a special porky meat stick? Is it gold? Can I wear it as a necklace? Put it in a flower arrangement? Stir chili in the crockpot with it? Get to explainin’ then. Before my heart gives out.”

I open my arms to the side and then clasp my hands in front of me. “It’s…my actual dick in dildo form.” I sigh long and heavy.

Her eyes grow wide. “What?” She lays a hand on it and pulls it from the box, inspecting it more closely, fingers running over the silicone ridges.

I lean forward, setting my hands under my chin. “How accurate is it?”

I laugh. “I want you to imagine me getting myself hard, thinking of you of course, and then sticking my dick into a cylinder filled with molding goop. I had to let it harden and then pull it out. It was quite the process and if anyone ever found out about it, I’d never live it down.”

“Oh my goodness. It is your dick!” Clover shrieks, finger sliding over an engorged vein. Her smile is wide so I’m grateful she’s not horrified at this insane idea. Yet. “You really had a dildo made of yourself for me? Why go through the trouble? You have a beautiful dick, like maybe they’re going to use your mold to make a million dildos now. Will you get a cut of the profits?”

I chuckle, closing my eyes, then I swallow the laugh down and bring the truth forward. “I want you to be mine, and I can’t be with you,” I breathe. I meet her eyes through the computer screen. “Time is passing. It’s going fast and slow and I want you to be mine forever. This is my way of making sure you’re always mine first.” I see her turning my words over in her mind.

She tips her chin down as she gazes at the flesh-colored Mercer shaft. “You want me to lose my virginity to you, with this? You’re serious? That’s not the same thing, Mercer Ballentine. I can wait for you. I’ll wait for you.”

I shake my head firmly once. “It’s not the same thing. But it’s all I can give you right now. I can be with you, like this. Watching you. Talking to you. Telling you what to do. I don’t want you to wait for me. This is what I want. Can you give it to me?”

Her eyes fix on the silicone and then she glances back to me. “There were a million things I thought would be in that box, Mercer. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you would make a mold of your cock and then ask me to lose my virginity to it. First it was the earrings and then the bird a few days ago.” She smirks.

I had the local pet shop deliver a cockatoo to her house. There was a catch. They had to teach it to talk first. Very specifically, it says farm truck, four-leaf clover, and kiss me darlin’. It took a couple months to get it up to speed.

“I didn’t think I could fall any more in love with you after those things, but this, while the most inappropriate thing I’ve ever received is also one of the most thoughtful. You. Molded. Your. Dick. For. Me. There’s something about it,” she says. “I can’t put my finger on it.” She slaps my dick against her palm a few times as she speaks. “Or my whole hand for that matter.”

“Does that mean you love the bird more than my dick?” I fire back, trying to tamp down on the happiness I feel at watching her play. Looking at her, looking at me—that feral look in her eye. I’m transported to her living room. Standing in front of her. A man, not a screen.

“I haven’t fucked your dick yet. Give me time to decide. It’s the polite thing to do.”

That’s all it takes for my cock to stand, pressing against my pants. She continues. “I suspect you’re not much into being polite right now though, are you? You want to claim me?”

I nod. “More than anything else.”

“And you couldn’t find the time before you left? This is what I get now? A substitute.” Her words don’t match how turned on she is right now. It’s penetrating the screen.

I blow out a noisy breath. “It’s my greatest regret. I think about it every day. You lay in bed trying to remember what I look like and I fall asleep fucking you every which way in my dreams.”

“Fair. You wanted it to be perfect, that’s why you wanted to wait, and it seems you’re changing your tune. You want to claim me in whatever way you can. In creative ways, shall we say?”

“One day, I’ll be a man who can be there for you all of the time, right now wanting you is killing me, and this is the only way to get it done. I love you, Clover Wellsley. The insane kind of love that makes me do things I don’t usually do. The kind that makes living without you painful. My days are bleak, and I’d be pissed at you for what I feel if I wasn’t so mad about you.” Licking my lips, I go on, “I’m asking you to do this for me. I hope you want to, even if it’s just a little bit.”

Clover stops me, holding up a palm. Standing, she takes the black dress off over her head. She’s not wearing a bra, and her pink panties are tight against her skin. A breath lodges in my throat. “I’d do questionable things to touch you right now.”

“Touch me how?” she counters, sliding her laptop back so I can see her full body, including her face. “That’s how this goes.” She waves the dildo, my dick never looking bigger than in front of her small frame. “Make me believe this is you, but before you do, take off your pants. I want to see all eight of your abs and everything below them.” Her courteous dirty talk is my favorite recipe. That taste of home. A familiar embrace inside of the living nightmare I’m currently enduring.

I obey her, hooking my thumbs into my pants and pulling them down my legs. I grab and tip my computer down so she can see my cock, my abs, my mouth, and my nose. I can still see her on my screen from this angle. “If I were there, I would rip the panties off your body and finger you to make you wet,” I say.

Clover interrupts, “I’m already wet. Go on. What after that?” She is so game for this that I’m pissed at myself for worrying about what she’d think.

“I’d kiss you so hard you’d forget your name.” I swallow hard as she lets the pink panties fall down her toned legs. “I’d kiss you there, too. I’d lick your pussy until you came on my face. Your hands would be in my hair. I want you to pull my hair, guide me. Tell me exactly how fast or slow you want it. Do you want my fingers inside you while I lick your clit?” The hand I have on my ram-rod hard dick starts moving up and down the second Clover reaches down with two fingers and starts rubbing herself.

“I want that so bad,” Clover says, shrinking down onto the sofa, keeping her legs apart and bent so I have an eagle eye view of what is making my mouth water. “Why can’t you be here right now?” she asks, tone heavy with longing.

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