Page 8 of Solo Stan
“Yeah, I’m just kidding. You know I can’t be seen out with someone old enough to be my dad,” Kai teased.
“Get out of here, boy,” Moodie said, tossing the rag he’d been using to clean the counter at Kai. “Wipe them tears and get ready for your shift in a couple days. I need you to train my nephew.”
Kai put his hand to his forehead in a salute. “Yes, sir.”
“And learn how to tie your damn shoes!”
Returning home, Kai got back into bed. He thought long and hard to himself. As a firm believer in things happening for a reason, there had to be one for why he’d be alone that summer. Maybe with his friends gone, it was a sign he should reach for other connections.
Where am I being guided?Kai thought.
He hoped it was toward love—the real thing this time. He thought about Winter and Bobby, together in California, and Emmy, the extraordinary extrovert she was, with whom he’d had a brief infatuation the previous year, meeting all kinds of new people in Europe, where she was pursuing a modeling career. As he looked up at the ceiling, hearing his parents laughing together down the hall, he was hit with a pang of loneliness.
All his previous romances ended as quickly as they began, sometimes evenbeforethey began. He had a habit of moving fast when he met people he liked, which he had to admit was often.More often than I change my socks,according to Bobby. It didn’t take much—a smile, even a simple hello—and he would fall head over heels. He’d lay all his cards on the table, even at the risk of scaring them off, and they would always come up with some excuse as to why they couldn’t be in a relationship with him. It was always a lie, just a way to let him down easy. One person said they had recently gotten into K-pop and would be too busy learning the names of the members of NCT to date. Another said their dogs had twins. Another abruptly decided to move to Guam. One had started binge-watchingLaw & Order. And another had recently gotten into competitive air guitar.
For Kai, love always came easily. It was reciprocity that was the issue. There was only one time his feelings turned into an actual relationship, even if it wasn’t the kind that he’d initially hoped for.
About five years ago, he had been sitting in the park withhis sketchbook. The only other people there were two brothers, possibly twins, and, presumably, their little sister. One of the brothers kept his eyes firmly glued to his phone, but the other had been fixated on the little girl. Every time any of the other kids even looked like they might bump into her, he leapt to his feet but then slowly sat back down, probably realizing he shouldn’t square up with eight-year-olds. Kai sat for a long while, fastening a lock on that moment by committing it to a page in his sketchbook.
When Kai finally worked up the courage to gift the drawing to the brother, the little girl had come waddling over, her laces undone. The boy, without missing a beat, bent low, tied her laces in the blink of an eye, and sent her off again to play. She hadn’t even considered the other twin. She clearly had her favorite, and it was obvious why: He had an energy that reminded Kai of home. In that moment, Kai looked down at his own laces, splayed out on the ground. He then tucked them into his shoes and left the drawing crumpled in the park’s trash can.
He remembered inviting Bobby over that afternoon to playTekken 7on the PlayStation. They weren’t best friends yet; Kai had been in love with Bobby since the moment he sat next to him in Mr.Melton’s fourth-grade class and loaned Bobby a pencil. Calling Bobby a friend felt insincere even though their bond was undeniable. At the time, and even now, all Kai wanted was for someone to notice him, to like him first for once. That included Bobby and the boy from the park, who hadn’t even looked his way.
He had confided in Bobby that he wanted to find a boyfriend or girlfriend because his parents had been high school sweethearts, and it was a legacy he had always wanted to carry on. They wereonly in eighth grade at the time, but it felt urgent.
Bobby paused his game, resting the controller on the rug, and casually suggested that Kai go out with him since they did everything else together anyway. This was classic Bobby, practical to a fault. His tone was so casual, as if he were suggesting they order pizza for dinner or go for a walk. Kai choked on a laugh, thinking Bobby was joking, but Bobby repeated the question. “Why don’t you go out with me?”
Then, Kai wasn’t sure how it happened, but soon he and Bobby were inching toward each other on the living room rug. To this day, he didn’t know whether he should consider it his first kiss or not, because it had been over so quickly.
“Good?” Kai had asked, his shoulders tense.
Bobby put a finger to his chin. “Inconclusive.”
They got close again, meeting in a real kiss this time.This isn’t so bad,Kai thought. It was pleasant, even easy, like walking or breathing.Maybe a little weird,he considered as Bobby turned his head farther to the side, but still, not bad. Feeling brave, Kai opened his mouth, allowing the kiss to deepen. However, the moment he felt Bobby’s tongue on his, tasting the Swedish Fish they’d eaten together earlier that afternoon, Kai’s fight-or-flight response kicked in.DANGER. DANGER. DANGER. Turn back!his mind screamed. His eyes shot open, only to find Bobby’s open as well, his proximity turning him into a cyclops—not the hot Scott Summers kind, but themy best friend’s tongue is in my mouthkind. They both flew apart.
And that’s how Kai realized that Bobby was his best friend and nothing more. They still joked about the kiss to this day.
Kai exhaled in the warmth of his bed and the glow of candlelight. He reached for a piece of parchment and wrote down his desire tofind love, folded it toward himself, and sealed it with a kiss. Placing the paper underneath the candle—which was filled with dried lavender and rose petals, along with sprinkles of cinnamon—he spoke his intentions aloud, hoping that someone was listening—someone who believed he deserved love.
4
Elias
One Day Ago
A dull ache in Elias’s nose woke him up again. The cut in his lip had closed, but it still throbbed, and his nose was still sore from the fight. Not that it was much of a fight. Elias took one hit from a middle schooler, then folded like an AARP card–carrying lawn chair.
He reached under his shirt and scratched his stomach as he shifted his head to the side, producing a loud cracking sound from his neck. He scoffed when the other side made no noise.
Eyes barely open yet, Elias shuffled to the fridge, appreciating the chill for a moment before gathering everything needed for breakfast—blueberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon. The small kitchen soon filled with the sweet scent of caramelizing blueberries and fluffy pancake batter sizzling in melted butter.
When the last blueberry pancake slid off his spatula onto the stack, he stood back to admire his work. They weren’t pretty, but they were Nia’s favorite, and they were done, which was all that mattered when his mom came home from a night shift.
Leaning over the sink, he half-consciously chewed on a slice of bacon until he dozed off and it fell from his mouth into the mixing bowl he was supposed to be washing.
“This is Later Elias’s problem,” he grumbled, leaving the stack of dirty dishes abandoned in the sink.
He trudged to the bathroom, groaning when he realized the door was locked. Steam rose from beneath it. His mother must have snuck in, then hopped right in the shower. She was usually covered in all sorts of biohazards when she got back from work.
