Page 113 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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but relieved to be back

in this conversation with Matt

and not lost in my anger.

“But I do plan to have gay sex, someday.”

“Someday soon?” asks Matt.

“With Obi, maybe?”

“Maybe,” I reply, looking Matt in the eye.

The truth will set you free, Matt said,

but I’m not sure

I’m ready to face the truth between us.

Labels—Lunchtime—The Library

I plan to sit in the library

with my notebook.

I heard a whisper of an idea

last time I was in here,

and I hope that idea

has been waiting for me

in the quiet of the room.

Jyoti sits pretending to read

at an otherwise vacant library desk.

Her signed copy of the book by The Author

is propped up like it’s on display,

while her hands are moving behind it.

Inside my heavy backpack,

my own signed copy is waiting for me to read.

As I get closer,

my suspicions are confirmed.

Jyoti is tapping on her phone.

I pull out the plastic-and-metal

school chair beside Jyoti,

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