Page 12 of I Can't Even Think Straight

---

to redo them last night,

but I’m gonna ask my granny

to do it today after school.”

Ready or Not?—After School—Granny’s Kitchen

My sixteen-year-old cousin T

breathes deeplyopposite me

at the kitchen table.

Silence has descended on

our previously heated conversation.

The heavy smell of curried goat

has fully settled into my clothes.

The still-hot pots sit on the stove

waiting for Granny to plate up

when she returns from picking up

Olivia and Sophia, my five-year-old

identical twin cousins, from school,

as she does every weekday.

T stands and towers over me.

He can only achieve this because I stay seated.

We’re the same height standing up,

but, right now, I feel stuck to my seat.

T has been bubbling and spilling over

for the past twenty minutes,

but now he’s softly simmering.

T’s deep voice is softer than before:

“What I don’t understand, cuz,

is why Jyoti said it so casually,

like it was common knowledge,

like she assumed I already knew.”

T imitates the voice of Jyoti,

---