Page 51 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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I think I misinterpreted

how he was looking at me.

I think he was just trying

to figure me out.”

“I know how that feels,” says Vass.

I wait for Vass to say more but they don’t.

I take a slow sip of my hot chocolate

and the marshmallows tickle my nose.

Vass doesn’t seem as excited

about my coming out

as I’d imagined they would be.

Vass’s bedroom looks fit for a Pride party,

but Vass isn’t celebrating me.

Something about Vass seems

darker these days, like clouds

threatening to rain on a Pride parade.

“What’s wrong, Vass?”

“You do realize Matt outed you,

and that’s not cool?”

“I wanted to come out.

I’ve wanted to do it

since before summer.

If anything, I feel sorry for Matt.”

“But when you imagined coming out,

was it like that?”

“No, but it’s not Matt’s fault.

Nathan and Kwesi put us on the spot.

I think Jyoti concluded Matt was gay

because she liked him,

and he wasn’t into her.”

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