Page 66 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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My eyes return to Kojo,

like a child’s tongue troubling a wobbly tooth.

If Kojo weren’t in this group,

wordlessly disapproving of me, I’m sure

I’d feel much more at ease.

If I were a dentist, I’d recommend an extraction,

before the rot sets in.

But Kojo has been one of The Boys for years:

perhaps I’m the one who doesn’t belong here.

Best Friends—After School—Yiayia and Bapou’s Garden

Vass and I sit in silence on the swings

at the far end of Yiayia and Bapou’s garden.

Vass’s face is wet from crying,

but their tears have stopped streaming.

I want to tell Vass I feel bad for not realizing

something so serious had happened to them,

but I don’t want to make this moment about me.

I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know whether to ask more questions

or wait for more information.

Eventually, I say, “Thank you for telling me.

And, for what it’s worth,

you made the right choice

telling your mum first:

it sounds like she’s been amazing.

I wouldn’t have known what to do

if you’d told me first.”

I feel guilty admitting this,

but it’s a truth Vass knows about me:

I don’t deal well with stress.

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