Page 25 of Sexted By Santa
Aunt Henry looked totally surprised by my outburst. “The parade and festival are much more time-intensive. He’ll be out for three hours, at least. I didn’t think you’d want such a big commitment.”
“I can see that, I guess.”
I’d probably have agreed with her before going to any of these events. The less time in the Santa suit, the better, I would have thought. But a parade sounded like a walk in the park compared to my first two events.
“What about the Rainbow Center though?” I asked, a little hurt she hadn’t considered that a gay volunteer might be more appropriate than this Paul guy. Whoever he was. Probably asuperiorSanta. The first-rate Santa, while I was just the substitute B-Team Santa.
“Darling, I didn’t want to trigger you,” she said. “A lot of these teens are dealing with acceptance issues with their parents, and I know how you hurt when you were their age. I was only trying to protect you.”
“Oh, well…”
That was actually quite kind. Not that Aunt Henry was ever anything but kind. She’d single-handedly become my entire family until I accumulated supportive friends and allies. She’d paid for me to go to college. Without Henry, I’d never have become a professor. I owed her so much.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bear,” I said around the lump in my throat. “What your foundation does is really great, and I feel as if I’ve let you down.”
She shook her head, smiling with exasperation. “You could never let me down. Unconditional love, remember?”
She pushed out of her chair, moving slower than she used to but no less gracefully. She came over and cupped my face. “You are myprecious boy, Christian. I didn’t give birth to you, but I am your real family, hmm?”
I looked into her shining eyes, feeling so grateful this woman was in my life. “Yes, Henry. Always.”
She patted my cheek and carried on to the kitchen, where she prepared another slice of cheesecake. At this rate, I’d be Santa-shaped by the time the holidays were over. But I didn’t refuse when she put a fresh piece in front of me.
“So anyway,” she said, as she retook her chair across the dining room table from me. “Paul might be able to work the Christmas Day hospital visit into his schedule. I know how you dislike this. Perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed you into it.”
“Why did you?” I asked, genuinely curious. Aunt Henry ordinarily respected my wishes. She understood my feelings about Christmas, especially after Fynn left.
“Well, it’s true that we were rather desperate when John ended up in the hospital with that heart bypass. Paul simply couldn’t fill in for everything. But, I admit…these past few years, it’s been hard to see you fall into a depression every November. I knew this would probably challenge you, and most definitely irritate you, but I hoped it would also get you out there around other people and give you some perspective. Your life isgood, Christian. Better without Fynn, if I’m perfectly honest.”
“You know I didn’t enjoy the holidays even before Fynn divorced me.”
She pursed her lips. “It wasn’t the same. You were mildly annoyed by how early they started playing holiday music. You rolled your eyes at the wealth of cheesy Hallmark movies. You didn’tloveChristmas, but you also didn’t hate it. You didn’t mourn when it arrived.”
“I see,” I murmured. “Maybe you’re right.”
She sighed. “If I miscalculated, I’m sorry, dear. I thought by doing this, you’d see people who really appreciated Christmas, and who didn’t have a lot to look forward to in their lives, and you’d see the holiday in a different light. And perhaps…you’d find a new appreciation for the season, as well. But you’re entitled to your feelings about it. If you hate this, then I’ll have Paul take over your last event, and you’ll never have to put on that Santa suit again.”
I was torn. While I wasn’t thrilled to be playing Santa, I was loathe to throw in the towel. I wasn’t the type to give up on anything—and perhaps I had been a little overly dramatic about my failures. The children at the shelter had lit up when I came in. They’d smiled and cheered and sang along with me at different points during my visit. Not everything had gone perfectly, but it had gone better than my first visit. And even that one—aside from Harold—had mostly gone fine. There’d been smiles and laughter, even if some of it had been at my expense. And even though Jaxson Hicks had swooped in to inject a little extra spirit, people had been happy. Well, once again, except for Harold.
If I didn’t change my attitude, would I become a Harold someday? Someone who jeered and heckled and wanted to ruin others’ fun? I didn’t want that. I might never be able to see Christmas as more than an over-commercialized holiday more focused on the buy-and-sell of products than a truly inspirational time of year, but I could respect other people’s joy.
And Iwouldsee this Santa thing through.
“I’ll go to the hospital,” I said. “Aunt Henry didn’t raise no quitter.”
Henry laughed, just as I’d hoped she would. “I’m so glad you to hear you say that. I was afraid I’d truly pushed you too far this time.”
“You’d never do that,” I said. I knew it was true. Aunt Henry would never give me more than I could handle. “Icanface the holidays. I didn’t realize just how low I was sinking, to worry you so much. But those days are over.”
8
JAXSON
“Am I getting another Mommy or Daddy for Christmas?”
“No. What?” I laughed with exasperation. Tori knew I was bisexual, and that I might date men or women, but I’d certainly not shared much of my dating life with her. “I told you I was just meeting a friend.”
“You never meet friends,” she said. “And you showered and shaved.”
