Page 60 of Sexted By Santa
If this was a mistake, it’d be the best mistake of my life.
But as we kissed, Jaxson’s tattooed quote surfaced in my mind:Love leaves no room for regret.
Perhaps this wasn’t love yet. But it was in the pursuit of love and happiness that I cast aside my fears and joined Jaxson in taking a leap of faith.
Because there was a flip side to that quote:Regret leaves no room for love.
16
JAXSON
Christian’s little dog was worked up, yapping and dancing back and forth, toenails clicking on tile, when we came inside.
“Quiet, Sir Elton John! Hush now,” Christian scolded in an affectionate tone. “You’ll make Jaxson think you’re spoiled rotten.”
Yip-yip!
“Can’t blame you for spoiling him. He’s a music icon, after all.”
Christian snorted. “This Sir Elton’s singing hurts my ears.”
A few more high-pitched yaps, and I was in agreement. Sir Elton was not meant for the world’s stage. I followed them both to the kitchen, sighing in relief when Christian set out food and water, and the yapping quieted as Sir Elton filled his mouth with dog food.
“I’ve got to take him outside for a minute,” Christian said. “Make yourself comfortable? Get a drink if you like. I’ll be back as fast as I can.”
I leaned in to kiss him, meaning to keep it brief. But the moment our lips touched, lust flooded through me. I’d spent so long wanting him, unsure of whether I’d ever have more than a hot sexting session or an evening spent pretending we were in love.
It was fast, really fast to be feeling so strongly. But at the same time, it was slow.
We’d clicked from our first message on the Thrust app. I’d begun falling for him before we met up for dinner. Discovering who he was, having old animosities in the mix, only complicated those feelings. It didn’t drive them away. And seeing his vulnerable side, pretending to be his supportive boyfriend, only nourished my desire to care for him. It was illogical. I was a single parent, and Tori took up so much time and energy that I’d told myself I had nothing left for anyone else. But my heart was already opening for Christian, and I found myself wanting to be the person he could count on. The one who’d always be there for him.
Unlike his parents. Unlike his ex-husband.
Sir Elton John yapped and jumped against our legs, startling us apart.
Christian chuckled apologetically. “I better take him out now, or he’ll never give us a moment of peace.”
“Go ahead. I’ll be here.”
Christian and Sir Elton John went out the sliding back door of his kitchen to the fenced backyard. I leaned against the counter and checked my phone for the twentieth time, but all remained quiet with Tori. Madison’s parents had confirmed that the girls went to bed, and that Tori’s glucose readings were within the range of numbers I’d given them. There was an alarm on the monitor should her blood sugar reach truly life-threatening levels. That safety net was the only thing giving me the strength to do this. While data from her glucose monitor could be downloaded periodically to a phone or computer, it couldn’t tell me what was happening with herright then.Someday, I vowed, I’d be able to provide her the best and latest technology to make her life easier.
Tori’s uneventful night should have been a relief, but part of me was still uneasy. It went okay this time, but what about the next, and the next? Now that we’d gone down this road, Tori would want more freedom. She’d want to spend more time away from home—as she should. It was only natural that she wanted to live her life without fear. I wasgladshe wasn’t afraid. I had enough fear for the both of us. But what happened when on her third, or fourth, or twentieth night away from me, something went wrong? What happened if she had a crisis, and I wasn’t there?
The anxiety made my stomach knot up. I squeezed the phone hard, fighting the urge to call and insist the Winstons check on the girls.She’s sleeping. She’s fine.
“Jaxson?”
I blinked. I hadn’t even heard Christian return. Toenails clicked on the floor, and I spotted Sir Elton John with his face buried in his bowl, lapping water noisily.
I glanced at the phone clenched in my hand. It was late. I couldn’t call the Winstons. With difficulty, I returned the phone to my pocket.
“Sorry,” I said. “I was just…”
“Worried about Tori?” Christian guessed.
I nodded.
“She seemed smart and responsible at the holiday party,” Christian said. “She knew how to take care of herself.”
