Page 138 of Outcast
Dad shook his hand. “No, son, I’m sorry for judging you unfairly. If Emory likes you, then there must be good reason for it. My son has always had good judgment. I lost sight of that for a minute.”
“What now?” I asked.
“Now,” Dad said with a sigh, “I need a drink.”
Gray chuckled. “I could be on board with that.”
I gaped. My dadneverdrank except at the occasional holiday or barbecue. But I guess a shouting match with the sheriff counted as a special occasion.
We drove over to the Fieldhouse sports bar and took a booth in the corner. It was late afternoon, and the place was dead, so we could talk without eavesdroppers, at least.
“Tell me everything,” Dad said once we’d ordered a round of beers and a bowl of peanuts to snack on. “How long have you wanted to date men?”
“Um, it’s kind of hard to pinpoint,” I said. “I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t really get serious about it until everyone started talking about me and Allison getting married.”
He frowned. “We were pushy.”
“Just a little,” I said.
“You and Allison always seemed like a good fit.” He flicked a look at Gray. “No offense, son.”
Gray took a sip of beer. “None taken.”
“Allison is great,” I said. “She’s my best friend. I’ll call her later and tell her everything because that’s what we do. But we’re not meant to be. She’s got someone.” I reached for Gray’s hand on the table. “And so do I.”
Dad dug into the peanuts. “All right, then, as long as you’re happy.”
“I am.”
He shelled a peanut, then popped it into his mouth and chewed. Chased it with a gulp of beer. I could tell he was stewing over something.
“What you said today, right before you left…”
I winced. That comment about my brother had spilled out of me, but it wasn’t fair to my parents. “Forget that.”
“No, I can’t,” he said seriously. “Do you really believe we loved your brother any more than you?”
“No. I know that’s not it. I just…I’m not the son you want. Maybe he would have been.”
“Why would you say that?” Dad sounded a little angry. “Don’t you dare say you’re not the son I want. I love you. Your mom and grandpa love you to pieces, Emory. Where is this coming from?”
I bit down on my lip, shaking my head. I didn’t know how to say it. I turned pleading eyes on Gray, and he seemed to understand what I needed.
“Emory feels a lot of guilt about his brother’s death,” Gray said quietly. “He’s tried to fill that void by being the perfect son to you, but what he thinks you want and what he actually wants for himself don’t always line up.”
“Like with Allison,” Dad said.
I shrugged. “You guys want grandkids. That’s fair. I thought I could eventually get married, even if it wasn’t Allison, and give you that, but…”
I looked at Gray sitting beside me, so supportive and loving. I couldn’t ever give him up. Not even for my parents.
“But you’re in love with a man,” Dad filled in.
My cheeks warmed. It was still so new. It was strange hearing my father comment on it. “Yeah.”
“I love him too,” Gray murmured with a small smile.
“You’d better,” Dad said with a chuckle. “But being with a man doesn’t mean you can’t have a family. There’s surrogacy or adoption. If you want children, that is. Don’t go starting a family for our sake. I think you’ve worried about us enough already.”
