Page 139 of Outcast
My heart quickened. “You mean that? You’re really okay with this.”
“Emory, I’m okay with anything that makes you happy. Your mother will be too. In fact, she’s probably damn worried. Why don’t we head over and talk this all out? We all loved Adam, and we were all devastated to lose him, but we don’t want to lose you too. You need to know that we love you foryou, and we’d never want you to be a replica of your brother. You were two different people, and we always loved you equally.”
“But it’s my fault he’s gone.”
“No.” He leaned forward, placing a hand on my forearm and squeezing. “You were children, and it was a tragic accident. Kids have been jumping out of that tree into the river for years. It was terrible luck, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“He jumped because I wouldn’t, and the other kids were teasing me about it.”
“If you’d jumped, we’d have lost you, and that wouldn’t be any better, Emory. Just different. Understand?”
My heart ached for my lost brother, but for the first time, I realized it was different for me and my parents. Adam had been my only brother, and I’d thought that if I could only trade places with him…
But my parents had two children they loved. They wouldn’t have traded one for the other. My brother’s loss cut deeply, but mine would have too.
No matter how hard I’d tried to be everything they wanted in a son—I’d never make up for that loss. They’d always carry it, just as I did. But maybe…maybe it wasn’t so bad I wanted different things than my brother might have.
I could never replace him. And it was time I stopped trying.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
Gray
My Harley rumbled loudly,announcing my return, as I cruised over the bumpy path to our house. Emory had driven me to Ball Breakers, where I’d picked up my bike, still parked in the pool hall lot.
The screen door opened, and a dog shot out—a German shepherd with a sharp bark that made me swerve and nearly lay the damn bike on its side. I jerked to a stop, heart hammering.
“Again with the fucking hellhounds!” I called as Axel came out the front door.
The shepherd charged straight for me, and Axel didn’t call him off. Hell, maybe I was in worse trouble than I thought. Holden had been the one pissed at me, so why was Axel glowering like that?
I scrambled off the bike, stumbling a step when the large dog jumped at me. Paws hit my shoulders, and then his muzzle came at me.
“Ax! Don’t let it hurt me!”
Liiiiick.
A sandpapery tongue swiped my face, from jaw to temple. Foul doggy breath panted in my face, then an excited yip.
“Loki ain’t gonna hurt you,” he said. “Unless you count eating you like a popsicle.”
I pushed Loki down, taking a step back and swiping at my face, now wet with saliva. Yuck.
“Thanks for the assist,” I said dryly.
Loki bumped his head against my hand, begging for pets. His eyes were bright and excited. I stroked his silky ears.
“I guess you’re not so bad.” His tail wagged hard. “You like me, huh?”
“He likes everyone,” Axel said. “Don’t let it go to your head. Fuck knows you don’tdeserveit right now.”
“What?”
“Where the fuck have youbeen? You took off without a word. Just like?—”
He stopped short, eyes blazing. Shit. I’d worried him. Made him think I might run again.
“I was with Emory. He needed me.”
