Page 80 of Wild Card
“That’s not?—”
I couldn’t stop now, the words tumbling free. I couldn’t let it happen. Couldn’t let those animals suffer neglect and abandonment like me. Knowing they were unwanted, unloved, unworthy…
“They deserve better! Why doesn’t anyone fucking care?” My voice cracked. “Why do they keep leaving me? Why?”
“Leaving you?” Dalton said softly.
Shit. My wires had gotten all tangled up inside.
“Them, I mean.”
Dalton pushed out of his seat and crouched in front of me. I turned my head, not wanting to look at him. Knowing that I had revealed too much.
It was just this fucking hangover. I couldn’t regulate my emotions. Couldn’t hide behind quips and flirtation. Not right now.
“Axel, baby?—”
“Don’t,” I rasped. “This isn’t about me. It’s about them. You’re only moving the problem from one place to another. At least with them getting dumped here, I could help them. They weren’t alone.”
“Like you were as a kid,” he said.
I clenched my hands. “Doesn’t matter.”
Dalton reached up, cupping my jaw and turning my head toward him. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t handle the warmth in Dalton’s gaze. Or worse, the pity.
I didn’t want him to see the emotional storm raging inside me. I bit my inner cheek hard, trying to stave off the burning in my sinuses.
“It matters,” Dalton said. “I screwed up. I’ll fix it.”
I shook my head. “It’s too late.”
“It’s not,” Dalton said firmly. “I have some sway with the mayor. I’ll tell him we need to find another solution, okay? The shelter?—”
“The shelter is too strained to do more.”
“I know.” Dalton cupped my face. “Just look at me, Axel. Please?”
I couldn’t resist that tone. My eyes opened to find his expression racked with guilt.
“I fucked up again,” Dalton said. “I keep trying to do the right thing, but I don’t know how when it comes to you.”
“That’s because I’m all wrong,” I mumbled.
“No.” Dalton pressed his forehead against mine. “You’ve been hurt. You’re wounded. That’s not the same as wrong.”
I tensed, trying to pull away. “Stop. Don’t make excuses for me.”
“They’re not excuses if they’re true,” Dalton said, looking at me steadily.
If there’d been pity or sympathy in his eyes, I could have shoved him away. But there was something else there. Something like understanding.
He saw me. Saw the small neglected kid I shut into a corner of my mind. Only my brothers knew that side of me. I kept it that way intentionally.
I had to be strong. Unbreakable.
I couldn’t let the world see the ragged shards that had already shattered inside me. I couldn’t make myself vulnerable like that.
It was all too much. The emotions swimming to the surface. Dalton looking inside me.
