Page 133 of A World Apart
This time, when he moved again, he pushed further in, the stretch becoming more uncomfortable this time, but before it could register as more than that, he withdrew. His other hand had trailed up to my hip, holding me gently, but firmly as he continued pushing in and withdrawing. The gentle rocking motion began to feel good, much to my surprise, having heard and read no shortage of experiences to the contrary.
My hips began to move of their own volition, matching his pace, each stroke going deeper until, finally, it did begin to hurt; a pinching sensation that verged on the edge of a burn, but by now the other sensations Jihoon had begun to wring from my body were equal in intensity, the conflicting feelings building within me.
Jihoon moved his hand from my hip to gently rub his fingers just above where we were joined, the sudden sparks of pleasure making me gasp. My head tilted back and I felt him slide in deeper, less resistance now until finally, finally our bodies were flush with each other.
He paused above me, his head hanging down as he trembled. I ran my hand down his face, soothing him even as my heartbeat thundered in my chest.
When he lifted his face, he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss so achingly sweet that I felt my eyes prickle. It was as he kissed me that he began to move inside me again, with less hesitation now, his strokes surer. He gasped against my mouth, a breathy moan that I echoed with one of my own.
Jihoon raised himself up slightly, his movements still gentle, but intentional, especially as he increased the pressure of his fingers, wringing moans from me, even as I marvelled at this new and foreign feeling of him moving within me. It wasn’t long until I felt myself cresting that peak, the sudden and climactic pulse that had me throw my head back and cry out in surprise and pleasure, swiftly followed by the feeling of being too tight, too full.
Above me, Jihoon’s thrusts became erratic, his breathing harsh and only moments after me, he cried out, partly my name, and partly some words I did not understand. He stilled for a moment, frozen before he slumped onto me, but only partly so as to not crush me.
His breathing was ragged, his shoulders heaved as I ran my hands down his back. Eventually though, his breathing evened out. He lifted his face to mine, peppering kisses over my lips, my cheeks, my nose until I began to giggle, batting at himineffectually. He adjusted his weight and in one swift movement, he pulled out of me, eliciting a sharp inhale, not quite pain, but not comfortable either. I reflexively pulled my legs together, wincing as my muscles ached.
Jihoon rolled off the bed, his back to me as I saw him dispose of the condom in the small rubbish bin. He got back into bed swiftly, sliding against me and pulling me into his arms.
“Are you alright?” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
I grinned, even though he couldn’t see it with my face pressed against his chest. “Yes. Are you?”
He laughed, the sound rumbling through him like thunder. “I don’t know if ‘alright’ is big enough for how I’m feeling.”
I yawned so wide my jaw cracked, all the activity and overwhelming sensation of this whole day catching up to me, coupled with the warmth of being pressed against Jihoon, skin to skin.
“Tired, jagiya?” The smile in his voice pulled my own out, though it was promptly interrupted by another yawn.
“It was a big day,” I grumbled, “I’ll be more talkative in the morning.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” his arms tightened around me, “just listen.”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not in my whole life. It’s you, Kaiya, it’s been you since we first met.”
I leaned my head back so I could see his face, my heartbeat speeding up, despite the fatigue I felt.
“I love you, Kaiya.”
My heart stopped, my lungs seized, but despite that, I felt the tears as they spilled out, running down my cheeks only to be dashed away by Jihoon’s fingertips.
There were so many buts, so many what-ifs, and so many, very good reasons to hold back, to guard my heart, but I’d decided to go all in, no matter the outcome.
“I love you,” he repeated, and I could tell he didn’t say it to hear me say it back to him. He didn’t say it out of obligation. He said it because it was the way he felt.
The moment my heart restarted, the very second I could get the air out of my lungs, “I love you too.” It was a confession, an admission, a wish that needed to be spoken to come true.
He laughed in relief, and perhaps I imagined it, but I could have sworn I saw his eyes shimmering, but it might have been the light.
The whole day and all its emotional roller-coaster seemed to press in on me then, and this time, when I felt the weight of my eyelids closing, I didn’t try to keep them open.
Chapter 42
We’d woken up in the middle of the night to make love again, slow and unhurried, a more thorough exploration of what we each liked, but the answer had been everything, so far.
Waking up in the morning in the circle of his arms had been a revelation. The warmth going beyond skin deep feeling and instead being the kind of warmth that makes a person feel that much more kindly toward the world, even when the world in question was at that moment leaning on its horn in the street below.
“Gah, what an asshat,” I grumbled, wondering how the driver’s horn could blare continuously for so long.
Underneath my cheek, Jihoon chuckled, jiggling me ever-so-slightly. His hand lifted to gently trace the contour of my spine, a decidedly nicer way to wake up.
