Page 39 of Give a Devil his Due
I refuse to believe she is behind all the bloodshed, all the hurt and pain everyone around me has suffered. There must be something I’m missing. I cannot turn my back on the female I love.
My eyes slowly move to Helena, and an invisible fist closes around my throat. I do love Zadkiel.
Don’t I?
Helena
“I’m okay.” Slapping Eric’s hand away, I sigh.
We’ve been back at the safe house for a while now. I’m pretty sure that more than twenty-four hours were lost while we walked the tunnels, but in all the crazy, at least Lucifer and Michael were found. The wards dulled Michael’s essence, but not enough to hide him from my father. Both of them are sleeping, but at least they will live.
“You need to wash that blood off you and rest, Hel.” Wrapping me in a hug, he tucks my head under his chin. “They’re not going anywhere. Both of them will still be here when you are done.”
“I want to eat his face,” Narsi hisses from where he is hugging my leg, his narrowed eye sockets locked on poor Michael.
“I told you it’s not the same Michael, Narsi.” With a groan, I tug on his wild curls to hold him back. “The asshole we hate was a jinn, not the real Archangel. This one is not evil.” I hope I’m telling him the truth after what I lived through with my mother.
Speaking of which.
“How’s Raphael doing?” Tilting my head back, I search Eric’s face for a sign in case he decides to trick me into not going to find my friend.
“As good as he could possibly be after discovering the one he loved most of his existence is a murderous bitch.” His mouth snaps shut, and his jaw tightens.
“I’ll eat her face.” Narsi preens, staring adoringly at Eric. He will love anyone as long as they let him munch on someone. I kick at him as a joke, which makes him pout.
“When we find her, I’ll be happy to watch you eat her,” I tell my sidekick to cheer him up before I nudge Eric. “I think you are right. I do need a shower.”
And maybe everything will make more sense while I stand under the hot stream. Why my mother turned out to be a psycho—that definitely took me for a spin when I saw her—why Raphael didn’t hold her down so we can take her with us to question her, and most of all, what was the nonsense she said about my death turning time back to erase her mistakes?
Stupidly I believe that because of what I am—and that’s what everyone has been telling me so far—time will collapse with my death and all the realms and everything in them will no longer exist. As terrifying as that responsibility is, being used like a get-out-of-jail-free card to get a clean slate sounds worse. What am I? an Ace up her sleeve so she can fuck up people’s lives and then walk away unsheathed?
I don’t think so.
There is more to this new clucterfuck that is taking my life for a spin, but until I get my hands on Zadkiel—I refuse to refer to her as my mother after everything—all I can do is drown in my dread and pity for myself until I go insane. I should be used to this, right? I mean, first my adopted father hired Eric to kill me, and then the Order, who were my family, turned against me. Why is it shocking to find out the one who gave me life has hated me all this time?
When I first found out I had demon blood, I lost it, thinking that I was evil and whatnot. I wanted to die knowing Satanael—Satan—was my father, but the big guy turned out to have better parental skills than that psycho mother of mine. All his arrogance aside, of course.
“I would’ve joined you, but I have to meet with your father and the others. They are planning to start a full-blown search for you mo—for Zadkiel,” Eric corrects himself fast when I narrow my eyes at him.
“Go.” Shoving him gently I lift on my tiptoes and peck his lips. “When you are done, come join me. I’ll probably be asleep for ten days after all the crazy.”
“I have my ways of waking you up.” His smoldering gaze sends butterflies in my belly.
“You do that.” My tone is breathy, and with wet panties, I push him again. “The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll keep your promise.”
Mashing his mouth on mine, he steals my breath before stepping back. “Remember, neither my father nor Michael are going anywhere. They’ll be here after you wash and rest.”
“Aye, aye captain.” I hold my smile until he turns a corner, and then I let it slip. “Narsi?”
Spinning on my heel, I act like I’m not just about to get myself and my sidekick into a ton of trouble. As predicted, he darts after me, looking up while bouncing on his small feet.
“How do you feel about investigating?”
“Narsi likes to eat,” he tells me pointedly, then adds, “faces.” As if I can ever forget what kind of diet he prefers.
“I’ll make you a deal.” Snatching his hand, I lead him toward my room. “I’ll tell you what we need to find out, and if you help me … you can have all the faces you want.”
“Narsi loveeesss faces.” I watch him run in excitement, unable to follow my even gait.
Dread weighs down my belly, but I don’t see another way.
I will find Zadkiel with Narsi’s help, and she will sing like a canary when she gets introduced to my dagger all over again. Only this time, she will not be coming face to face with a timid daughter searching for her mother.
Satanael will seem like cupid by the time I’m done with her.
She’s about to see who the real Devil is.
And this devil, well … she always gets her due.
