Eventually, she looked up, met my gaze. “Why are you even helping me?”
There were plenty of answers.Because it helps me. Because this can lead to ruining you. Because this is my job.
I should have deflected. I should have at least lied. Instead, I found myself saying, “Didn’t like seeing you hurt.”
She let out a sharp laugh. It was biting, a little cruel. “That’s new.”
“Maybe.” I didn’t look away. Silence stretched, and the city outside hummed low and restless. I watched the way her fingers played with a loose thread on the t-shirt she wore, a nervous tick I hadn’t seen in a long time.
“Earlier, at my house,” Ruby started again, eyes narrowing. “You were the last person I expected.”
“I told you. I didn’t like seeing you hurt.”
“And I told you,” she shot back, “that I can handle myself.” Her intensity matched mine, but I saw the crack beneath.
“I know you can,” I said. It came out too soft. I didn’t mean it to. I shifted on the couch, leaned forward, like that would somehow keep the conversation from going any deeper. Her brow was still furrowed, still deciding. “How’s your hand? Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, the bandages keep catching on the blanket and it pulls at my skin,” she said. “That’s probably why I can’t sleep. If you drive me home now, no one will see you.”
“Just sleep here. I’ll drive you home before dawn,” I told her. “I promise.”
“Okay, because…”
“I know. You can handle yourself. You keep saying.”
“Why are you helping me now?” she asked. “You know, years ago…I needed you, Kieran.”
I shook my head. “We were never that serious.”
She was quiet for a while. Longer than I expected. “How many times did I try calling?”
I looked down, eyes tracing the hardwood. I remembered every call, every message left unread. There were reasons. Just not the kind you could say out loud. Not the kind you could tell someone who worked for the DA, no matter how beautiful she was or how much I enjoyed spending time with her.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should’ve at least called. But you’re kidding yourself if you think it would have changed anything. This was always how we ended, Ruby.”
“Then why did you show up outside my door when I was bleeding?” she asked, her voice cracking at the end. “I could’ve handled this myself, but you just…you just came into my life like you’re allowed to. Like I haven’t repeatedly told you to stay away. But you were stalking me, waiting for something to happen, and…you waited. You waited for me to falter, and you pounced. I know how you work, Kieran. I’m not stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met,” I said, then sighed. “Look, I…I shouldn’t have shown up. Should’ve stayed away.”
I let the words fill the space between us, fill all the other spaces she was trying to.
“But you didn’t.” Her lips curved up, a hint of a smile with too much sadness behind it.
“You think I don’t know what this is?” I asked, hating the way my voice was starting to sound like hers.
Wrecked.
We were just…all used up and broken. Nothing to salvage.
Ruby let out a laugh that was somewhere between a cough and a sob.
“I keep asking you questions like it’ll change something…but does it matter?” Her lips pressed together, a thin line, before she sighed. “Does any of this actually fucking matter?”
“Yes. Yes, it matters,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because time didn’t stop when I dropped off the map,” I say. “Because you’re sitting there…and I’m sitting here. And I don’t think whatever we had died.”