Page 46 of Nothing to This
“She is if they’re over now,” she said.“He can propose to whoever he wants, but he better be damn sure the relationship is going to last if he wants the woman to be a part of my children’s lives.”
“You’re getting defensive.”
“You’re upsetting me,” she said, shoving at the plate, unable to consider eating.“I don’t want to think about something like that.”
“About Jamison with another woman?”
“About my children getting attached to someone and being hurt when they’re snatched from their lives,” she said, and grabbed her purse from the bench beside her while shuffling to the edge.
“Where are you going?”Baxter asked, tensing, leaping to the end of the booth.
“Home.”
“To him?”
The exit in her sights, she didn’t wait when he pulled out his wallet to throw money on the table.Yanking on the long metal bar granted her blessed freedom into the nip of the evening air.
She was striding down the block when Baxter caught up at her side.
“Go away, Baxter,” she said.“Go home.”
“No,” he said and tried to grab her arm, but she pulled it away.“You can’t even stand to stomach it, can you?Thinking of him with another woman makes you sick and you expect me to believe you feel nothing for him?”
“This has nothing to do with him,” she said.
“Are you kidding?You couldn’t wait to get out of that restaurant and rush home to confront him about this other woman!”
“Stop it,” she spat and tried to walk faster.No way she’d ever outrun anyone with legs so much longer than hers.“Goddamnit, I thought you’d be happy I could finally tell the truth.”
“Yeah, and I might have been if this didn’t open its own can of worms.Shit, Rylee, can you tell me you wouldn’t feel the same if the situation was reversed?”
“Would the mother of your children threaten me?No!I know the children are the priority.They need two loving parents.If those parents can get along, that helps them.It helps the kids, Baxter, that’s it… Maybe if you had children, you’d understand.”
This time he got hold of her arm and spun her around to face him.“And maybe one day we will, but you better remember that I’m your man.I’m your future.You can’t prioritize him over me.”
“What?That’s not what I’m doing.”
“You’re with him every minute and with me for a few hours every other weekend.This relationship won’t last unless you make room for me in your life,” he said.“More room.”
“Bax, I… I don’t know if we’re ready for that.”
“It’s been months.”But not a lifetime.Commitment had never come up.Until that point, everything was casual.He had his life, she had hers, and they got together whenever their schedules matched.“We’re ready.”
Were they?Much as she knew her next words would aggravate the situation, she had to be honest.“Me and the kids, Baxter,” she said.“I don’t know if me and the kids are ready for it.”
Letting her go, he stepped back.“Didn’t take long for him to come between us, did it?”
“This isn’t JD’s fault,” she said.“You’re making assumptions.This is a big development in my life.No one’s known who the father of my children is and now the world will.I don’t know how this will change things for the kids, but they have to be my priority.”
“And it never occurred to you that I could help you?That I could be a support to the three of you?Why is it your default to keep me on the outside?”
Until then, she’d had no other choice.Being unable to reveal the truth meant there had always been a secret between them.Now that need for secrecy was gone… Had she been using it as an excuse to keep herself from getting too close?
“I need you to… to be patient,” she said.“Please, we’ll figure this out, just… give me time.”
He backed away.“I’m not a patient guy.”
Turning around, he strode off, and she watched him go.Confused, tired, and upset, figuring out what she wanted from her relationship with Baxter was no easier than guessing how her life might change now the world knew the identity of her children’s father.
