Page 62 of Nothing to This
Stretching an arm out, she swung herself into a dining chair.“I read your name on the screen.If I’d wanted to avoid your call, I could have.”Silence.“Why did you call, Bax?”
“You were right.I was an idiot,” he said on a sigh.“I want another chance.”
“Baxter, you’re a great guy, but—”
“Don’t give me the great guy speech,” he said.“We had something good.Didn’t we?We always had fun together, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“I heard what you said, and I’ve been thinking about it.I want to get together.”
“Baxter, there’s no reason to—”
“The reason is I want to be with you,” he said, either passion or desperation in his tone, maybe both.“I want you, Rylee.And I don’t want to lose our relationship because of one bump.You said it yourself, this is our first real trial.That has to stand for something; it has to mean something.You talked about compatibility, we’re compatible.We made it to four months with no big fights or dramas.We want to be together; we were meant to be together.”
Going through such a stretch without incident might make them seem compatible.It hadn’t been enough.She admitted to herself that a part of her craved friction in a relationship.Not major conflict or unhappiness, but a teasing playfulness that would get her blood moving.
Arguing, putting up a defense, showed there was something to care about, to fight for.Being able to put words to those principles, voicing them, was a sign of security.A strong relationship, a secure relationship, of any kind, meant being able to say what you wanted to say without fear the other person would be harsh in their judgment or turn their back on you.
She and Baxter had been good together.Fun was exactly what it was.Once in a while, seeing Baxter gave her a chance to switch off from reality.Worrying about the kids or work wasn’t necessary when they were safe with their grandmother.As for Baxter, in that off time, there was no need to get wound up or be on the defensive.
And the first time her real life spilled into her relationship with Baxter, the whole thing collapsed like a house of cards.Baxter was not her future.
“We should get married.”
Lost in her thoughts, figuring out the foundation of her relationship with Baxter, it took a second for his voice to break through.
Although she heard the words, they didn’t quite make sense.“We should… what?”
If he thought a snap decision that would affect her children’s lives forever was the way to fix the situation, he needed to get a clue.
“You said JD couldn’t introduce a woman to your children without putting a ring on the woman’s finger first.I’ve been thinking about that and—”
“You thought we should get engaged just so you could meet my kids?”
“He couldn’t object that way, could he?He’d have to consent if—”
“Baxter,” she said.Incredulous to the point of dumbfounded, she was confident in her next request.“Don’t call me again.”
Hanging up the phone, she stared at it for a minute, unsure whether she should laugh or throw the thing against the nearest wall.
Okay, so she didn’t have the inclination to replace the phone.Better to put it back in the pocket of her purse and take the bag with her down the hallway.Turning off lights as she went, bed was the best idea.Maybe everything would be fixed by tomorrow.
Just as she was about to enter her bedroom, the narrow band of light under JD’s door caught her eye.
He was still awake.
He’d probably get a kick out of Baxter’s insane, unromantic plan.She almost went to tell him about the conversation.Before she’d taken so much as a single step, she faltered.
Why the reluctance?Going to speak to JD at night never caused hesitation in the past.Something was different.What was different?
She was single.
Insane that such a minor detail should make such a huge difference.She’d never considered looking beyond Baxter for anything physical while they were involved.Though she and Baxter never had an explicit conversation about being exclusive.
Brenna once asked if they were.All she could say was if she wasn’t fulfilling Baxter’s needs, she wouldn’t judge him for looking elsewhere.Her kids were her life; she’d made that clear to Baxter more than once.He’d never complained about only seeing her two or three times a month.That infrequency meant, as a single guy, he had a lot of free time.What he did with that time was up to him.It would’ve been selfish to ask him to sit around waiting for her.
Entering her bedroom, she closed the door and got ready for bed.
