Page 93 of Nothing to This
“Babe, we were alone for a minute, maybe two.We didn’t run off, we were in shouting distance and were found when needed.This did not happen because we were together.”
“I’m tired,” she whispered.“I’m confused.I… It probably sounds stupid, but I… Am I being seduced by the idea of family?By the security you can offer us?”He just listened.“Not the money, the support you can give me… I want your support.”
“You have it.”
“So go to California, let me and the kids get back into our groove.If we still want to be together when you come back, we’ll talk about it without all the emotional stress poisoning the air.”
Moving to her, he pushed her back against the wall, crowding up close.“I wanted to be with you before we lost Sky.I know I’ll want to be with you in two weeks.And that’s it, Ry, the trip is only two weeks.”
Cupping his face, she tried to smile.“Then you shouldn’t mind taking some time to reflect and breathe… I told you, if we do this, it’s going to be difficult to avoid being serious from the get-go.I don’t want the kids to know until we’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
So much emotional energy had been expended in the last twenty-four hours.Snap decisions couldn’t be trusted.If they stayed in the same home, she feared the intensity of their attraction would compel them to act on impulse.Their track record on ignoring it spoke for itself.
All of them needed comfort and craved solidarity.The risk in that was insulating themselves, isolating themselves, becoming dependent on each other.That could damage the kids and wouldn’t be a secure foundation for a future.
This trip to California, the time apart, was just what they needed.Once he came back to them, with a clear head, they could figure out what came next for the family.
THIRTY-THREE
“You’re what?”Brenna asked.
On Monday, sitting at JD’s desk, figuring out the paperwork was easier than breaking the news to her friend.
“We’re taking some time apart,” she said again.
“But I thought things were, you know… progressing.Is this my fault?Rylee, with Sky, I never got a chance to say—”
“We’re moving forward,” she said, pausing to look her friend in the eye.“JD and I talked to the kids.His security man got us new bodyguards and the kids have trackers in the bracelets on their wrists.”
Bracelets could be taken off, but that would require any would-be kidnapper knowing they contained GPS.When the devices were delivered to the apartment the previous day, JD had fastened them onto each of their children’s wrists without mention of the tech or their motivation.To pretty much guarantee they’d never take them off, JD promised that as long as they wore them, he’d always be able to come back to them.
Both kids cried when JD said goodbye.It wasn’t easy to watch.Witnessing the tearful goodbye proved one crucial concern.The kids were attached to him; more attached than they’d been when just seeing him once in a while at Grama’s house.Once upon a time, she’d feared breaking the news of Daddy moving out if he got his own place in the city.Their farewell, even with the promises of video calling every night, broke her heart.
They’d gotten used to having him around.So had she.
He left, and she consoled her babies, eventually getting them to sleep.When JD called from the plane, she’d gone through the apartment to show each of them in slumber at his request.The kids might be attached to their daddy, but it was obvious the same barb of familiarity had stung him.
“I can’t believe he just left, that he bailed so soon after their birthday.”
“The trip was planned,” she said.“It’s two weeks.I’ll run the office here, and we’ll get back to some semblance of normalcy.”
“And then?”
Giving up on the distraction of the paperwork, her arms flopped on the desk.“I don’t know, Bren.If we give in to what we’re feeling and it doesn’t work out…”
“Jamie told me you said that,” Brenna said.“And I know why it sounds logical.But like I said to him, you can’t go on like this, just ignoring what you want from each other… You’re not afraid that it won’t work out.You’re afraid that it will… The kids have given you an excuse not to get close to any man.You can date, keep it casual, and use the kids as a shield.You don’t need that shield with Jamie.In fact, the kids are a magnet for the pair of you instead.”How would she ever figure this out?“My brother’s not that bad, you know.You’re patient, I’m sure you could tolerate him better than I did growing up.”
Appreciating her friend’s attempt at humor, she breathed out a laugh.“Your brother is an incredible man.I know you don’t like to think about it, but he gets me hot, Bren.He has always had this ability to turn me on, even from twenty paces.I don’t know how he does it.”
With a theatrical look of disgust, Brenna’s top lip curled in time with her sound of distaste.“If you think fucking him will get it out of your system, just get it over with.”
“I think if I fuck him,” she said, licking her lips.“If I open myself to him like that, I’ll never want to let him go…”
Being with JD all those years ago had been a thrill, a novelty, an adventure.She’d been so swept up by how enamored they were with each other that she didn’t stop to acknowledge what they’d found was unique.She couldn’t have known it, not back then.Her experience with men was limited by youth.
After being with the same man through most of college, her one-night stand with JD had been a springboard into the world of dating as an adult in the wide world.More accurately, sex as an adult in the wide world.At that time, she’d thought their connection was standard, that it would be possible to replicate the sensation of being with him.Then the twins happened.She’d never had the time, or wanted, to sit down and think about how special that night had been.
