Page 60 of Worth the Wait
Jude laughed. “I’ll save that for another time. When the testosterone levels drop back to survivable. I’ve had my fair share of battle scars, too, y’know.”
Freddie should ask more. And if this was a date, if he wanted to get to know Jude, he would. But he was too self-absorbed right then. So he angled his head towards the car.
Once they were inside, the heater sputtered to life as Freddie started the engine, stale warm air blowing across the chilled silence. He peeked at Jude out of the corner of his eye as they pulled out onto the dark road. He clocked the way he sat there, quiet, hands folded loosely in his lap, pretending not to notice how tense Freddie was behind the wheel.
And fuck, didn’t that make it worse?
A few minutes later, Freddie pulled up outside Jude’s small cottage, the tyres crunching on gravel. He didn’t cut the engine, and he gripped the steering wheel, letting the hum of the car fill the silence between them.
“Do you…” Jude cleared his throat, unsure, “want to come in?” His eyes were wide behind his glasses, filled with a kindness Freddie didn’t deserve.
And the honesty spilled out of him.
“If you’d asked me a week ago, I would’ve been in there faster than you could stack those bloody papers.” He nodded towards the piles of schoolwork at Jude’s feet.
Jude leant back in the seat, tilting his head, offering a small, sad smile. “Knew I was too late. My hesitancy fucks me over every time.”
Freddie twisted his hands on the wheel, stomach knotting tighter. “I’m sorry, Jude. I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t deserve to be strung along. And right now, everything’s… really fucking complicated.”
“Nathan Carter?”
Freddie let out a harsh breath, because hearing his name physicallyhurt. He bowed his head, staring at his lap as if it might hide the shame clawing up his throat. “Iwasn’t… totally honest earlier. We didn’t just go to school together.”
Jude tilted his head again, reading between every broken word. “Old boyfriend?”
“Not quite.”
“Straight best friend who broke your heart?”
Freddie sighed, unable to say the words. So he shrugged.
“S’alright, Freddie.” Jude tilted his neck in sympathy. “We all have a history. Some of it I don’t teach.” He chuckled, then fell serious. “God knows I wouldn’t want mine knocking at my door either.”
Freddie met his gaze, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood. “Him coming back’s messed with my head. More than I want to admit. And it’s not fair to keep you hanging when I’m… like this.”
“I get it.”
“I don’t even know if he…” Freddie shook his head, looking away. “There’s nothing going on.”
“That’s not what his right hook said on that pitch tonight.”
Freddie hung his head.
Jude laid a hand on Freddie’s knee. Gave it a squeeze.
“I don’t know him, but I know his kid. And the look he had when I spoke to him about Alfie. He’s hurting. Confused. Struggling.” Jude tilted his neck to get in Freddie’s line of sight. “And whether that’s all about parenting, I doubt it. Especially where he’s returned from. But I think what he needs right now is a friend.”
Freddie swallowed the knot in his throat. “Yeah.”
“So go be his friend.” Jude removed his hand, leant across, and popped the passenger door open. “You can be mine too.” He stepped out. “No pressure. Anytime you need a chat. Or a moan about the state of your love life. Orsomeone to sit in silence with.” He smiled then. Small, genuine, no resentment in it. “You’re a good bloke, Freddie Webb. Wish I’d been brave enough to snag you earlier.”
Freddie smiled back, nodded once, the lump in his chest too big to speak around.
Jude gathered up his books and his battered work bag, gave a little wave, and headed up the garden path and Freddie watched him until he disappeared inside, the porch light blinking off as the door clicked shut.
And somehow, Freddie felt even more alone than before.
He drove without thinking, rattling over the familiar streets. But when he should have turned towards his place, towards safety and sleep and pretending none of it mattered, his hands kept the wheel straight.
