He’d fucked me hard and fast. And then? He’d done something strange.
No. It was me. We’d fallen asleep like we always did. Him buried inside me as we rolled over and clung to each other like the other was the air we breathed. I wanted to pull him closer like he was a part of my soul.
When he was near, it seemed to hit me that every second away felt like I’d suffocate without him. Realization sunk in like a rock. I was the one that couldn’t get enough of him.
A low snort was the only sound in the room as I shifted again. His hand brushing my sensitive nipple.
What had I been thinking? It had only been a few hours ago that I’d awoken to a new nightmare. One that seemed unfamiliar and out of place. A wedding. Not mine. Or maybe it was mine? I wasn’t sure. But it was scary all the same because whatever it was, it wasn’t the right thing. Parks was there, but not for me.
What had I been thinking? My body still remembered every stroke. Every touch. I’d woken up pissed off and ready to kill him. But instead? The feel of him hardening inside me as I shifted and the memories of how it felt to have him making me come won out. Won against my demons and I’d slowed it all down. Or had he? Or had we?
Was that what making love referred to? Feeling every single ridge of his cock as he slipped in and out? Feeling the beat of his heart as it joined mine in our rhythm?
Nope. This wasn’t gonna work. I said I loved him. Then he’d gone and gotten himself engaged.
My fingers fucking ached. I dug my nails into his back at one point and I hoped he’d wake up with blood drawn. I hoped that whoever this bitch was, that she would see the marks on him and know he belonged to someone else.
I pushed him away and almost regretted it at the feel of his cock sliding from between my legs.
The sheets wrinkled as I slipped over them, my feet hitting the ground, and the sheet sliding across my bare skin as I left the warmth of his bed.
Maybe a quick shower before I had to go and figure out my life.
I snorted. I would not be figuring out my life. That was not what I did. I functioned day to day and the only thing that gave me purpose? Killing.
“What are you snorting at? Bring your crazy naked ass back here.”
I turned my head and side glanced him, resting my chin on my shoulder.
“Crazy and naked I might be. Going back to you? That, I won’t be.”
I headed to the bathroom focusing on closing up the fissures inside me.
How had I never noticed how gray and white this place was? It was him, clean and organized, and me? Fuck. I was like a rainbow threw up and a leprechaun sat at the end stirring the pot and finally said fuck it. This is a Halle.
I knew I wasn’t normal. Had I ever been?
The shower was running, warming, and while I waited, I stared at myself in the mirror.
Maybe a makeover? New hair color always made me feel better, well, that and some asshole. The asshole would be easier to figure out than what to dye my locks.
“Halle. What do you mean you aren’t coming back to me?”
Here comes Mr. Grumpy-pants, and I hated that I sort of liked it. I liked seeing him come to me, but I needed to get over it. I didn’t fit here.
I glanced back at the door and shrugged and then turned to get into the shower that I’d somehow grown to think of as a luxury I could have.
Parks was something I thought I could have. I was dumb.
“I’m saving myself, Parks. Like I always do. Maybe I’ll save you. I haven’t decided yet.”
I didn’t bother looking as I moved to the call of the water. Something new and strange told me he was following me. One more nice warm shower in a life I’d borrowed.
I stepped into the steam of the heated water, pretending for a few more minutes.
His hands wrapped around my arms, gripping my forearms hard and stopping me before I could reach up and run them through my hair.
“I tried to fucking save you. I can’t help it if you’re just too good at what you do.”