Page 12 of The Cowboy Contract
Even though it was what she’d intended when leading him upstairs, her skin flushed at his plan. Somehow it was different when she was the one guiding them along. It made her feel a little more in control. A little more like she was deciding where things went and how they unfolded. It wasn’t necessarily true, but it was an illusion she could cling to. Feed herself when she was empty inside, sitting lonely and sad in her house, wondering why her life went the way it did.
With Leland holding the reins, the only answer she would have to chew on was that things went the wayhewanted them to. Which meant he didn’t want her the way she wanted him.
And that was a tough pill to swallow.
Leland went to the bed and flipped back the pile of covers. “You pick what we watch. I feel like I’m going to pass out before the credits are finished.”
Paige rolled her eyes as she grabbed the remote off the nightstand. “Whendon’tyou pass out before the credits are done?” They’d had countless movie nights together over the years, and Leland crashed during every one of them, spending pretty much the entirety of the movie drooling on whatever his head rested on. Sometimes it was a pillow. Sometimes it was a couch cushion. Sometimes it was her shoulder. As crazy as it was, those were her favorite nights.
Switching on the television, she scrolled through their options. After sliding onto the mattress, she peeled away her socks, balling them together and setting them on the nightstand before slipping under the covers. Since he’d interrupted her commiseration with Anne Elliot, she selected the same movie she’d been watching earlier.
“Are we seriously gonna watchPersuasionagain?” Leland’s big, work roughened hands went to the waistband of his jeans, working his belt open before flipping the button free and dragging down the zipper. “I’m starting to think you have a crush on Dakota Johnson.”
As always, Paige tried her best to keep her eyes away from Leland as he stripped off his pants. And, as always, she failed. It was just ridiculous how good he looked. While many men topped out in their late twenties, Leland was only getting better with age. He’d filled out particularly well over the years, and now sported thick thighs, a well curved ass, and forearms he could probably sell pictures of on the Internet.
Thankfully, she managed to keep her wandering gaze away from one particular area. Looking at Leland’s dick just felt like crossing a line. One she would probably never be able to recover from.
So, once she’d ogled his forearms and thighs and butt, she forced her eyeballs back to the television. “Of course I have a crush on Dakota Johnson. Have you seen her? She’s beautiful.” She frowned a little at the screen. “And looks amazing in bangs, which is totally unfair.”
Leland flashed her a grin as he scooted in beside her. “Remember when you tried bangs?” He stretched out along the mattress, big body dominating the space. “I had to call your hairdresser and forbid her from ever doing it again.”
She grinned at the memory. One of millions she shared with him. “It took me forever to convince her I made you do it.” She rolled her head toward him, a little surprised at how close his face was to hers. “She thought you were just some asshole boyfriend who didn’t like my decisions.”
Leland was turned toward her, the hard lines of his body barely touching hers. He reached out, smoothing back a little bit of her dark hair. “I would never tell you what to do with your hair. Or anything else.”
A little laugh escaped her even as every nerve ending in her body rejoiced at the contact. “That’s because you know I don’t listen to anybody.”
“Exactly.” Leland’s dark eyes moved over her face. “It’s one of the things I like best about you.”
She stared back at him, trying to think of a reply. Words that might serve as a segue to the conversation she really wanted to have.
Something like,If you like me so much, why haven’t you married me and put a baby in me yet?Or maybe,If you like that, you should see how good I am at sex.Or possibly,Get your dick out. Then your new favorite thing will be how good I am at bouncing on it.
But, like always, she kept her mouth shut. Because if she said the wrong thing, found out he didn’t want her the way she wanted him, there would be no going back. And she couldn’t lose him. Even if it was only as a friend, her life needed to have Leland in it.
She wouldn’t mind having him in her body too, but you can’t always get what you want. And keeping Leland—in any capacity—was the thing she needed.
Even though he’d just fallen asleep mid conversation.
Paige stayed awake to watch the whole movie, sneaking peeks at the man curled up beside her. By the time the credits rolled, she was actually feeling a tiny bit better.
She loved this movie. Not because it was the greatest cinematic achievement of all time, but because it gave her hope. Made her think there was still some chance that she wasn’t the only one pining away her life.
Maybe, like Captain Wentworth, Leland was sneaking her longing looks and covetous glances. Ones she never saw.
It was a ridiculous hope considering she never really took her eyes off him. Even now.
WAKING UP NEXT to Leland was always kind of a mind-fuck. She was exactly where she wanted to be, but it was also the worst imaginable place for her to be considering the circumstances.
This morning was alittledifferent, though. Not because she didn’t love hearing his even breathing beside her—she did. And not because she wasn’t laying there knowing she was an asshole who was in love with her best friend—she was.Thismorning she had the added trauma and frustration of Leland accidentally spooning her in his sleep.
One strong arm was banded tight at her waist, sealing her back to his front as he held her close. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the part of him she always worked so hard to ignore was clearly a morning person. After years of working hard to have no idea about her best friend’s junk, she was quickly becoming educated on two very annoyingly intriguing facts.
One: Leland wasn’t ever going to be made fun of in a locker room.
And two: He was perfectly sized to nestle right between the cheeks of her ass.
Pulling in a deep breath, she willed herself not to react. Gave her nipples and nethers a firm mental talking to as she attempted to wiggle away, desperate to escape the guilty pleasure creeping in.
