Page 28 of Explorer's Revenge
TWENTY
MAEVE
“Honestly, would you two just fuck already?” Logan mutters to Wilder as they pass, and I pretend I don’t hear it. Wilder and I butt heads, but it’s because we hate each other—that’s it. He prevented me from potentially joining their team and tried to get Ajax to fire me. I wasn’t good enough for his boys’ club, and he lets me know that every time we meet.
I hate that cocky fucker, and I definitely don’t want to bang him.
My eyes stay on the flames as I ignore them. It’s obvious they don’t want me here, which is fine by me. I don’t want to be here either, but we all know it’s dumb for me to go off alone right now. The jaguar seemed harmless when it approached me, but it is a wild animal, and I can’t deny that something about this island gives me the creeps, even though it’s stunningly beautiful.
It’s better this way, safety in numbers, but I don’t have to like it.
If that little limp-dick prick doesn’t want me with them, then fine, I won’t be. He called it a race, and I plan to find the city first to prove them all wrong.
“He just doesn’t know how to say thank you.” The unsure voice makes me lift my head, and my eyes widen when I find Aiy lingering next to me.
“If you say so,” I reply softly.
Aiyaret continues to dawdle when he would usually run as fast and as far away from me as he could. A protective instinct I didn’t realize I had rises to the surface.
He looks at the log and then me. “Sit if you want to,” I whisper, not daring to speak too loudly in case I spook him. He hesitates before sitting on the other log a little ways away from me. It doesn’t sting. When I accidently touched him at the office, the look in his eyes was enough to let me know he has his reasons.
He was terrified.
I’m very careful now. I don’t want my presence here to hurt him and whatever peace he feels. His eyes stay on the fire, and I look back at it too, unsure what to say or do. I don’t want to scare him or cross any boundaries, but it’s hard when I don’t know what they are.
Touching is a big no, and being close probably is too.
He doesn’t seem to want to talk to me either, so I keep quiet, knowing it must have cost him a lot to approach me. I don’t know his story or his past, and I don’t need to. Whatever happened is his story, not anyone else’s, but I won’t make it worse with my own naivety and blindness.
“Thank you. You risked your life by coming to help us. Wilder might not say it, but he’s grateful,” he says, and I make sure to keep my eyes on the fire.
I shrug. “He doesn’t like me much, a sentiment I return, but I wouldn’t let him get hurt out of spite. We have to look after each other.”
“Do you hate us for rejecting you?” My eyes jerk up, and I scan the camp to see the others quickly settling in. No one isreally paying attention, but I know better—they are probably all listening intently.
“No.” I smile. “Okay, maybe I did at first, but it was more the way I was rejected.”
“They did it for me,” he tells me, glancing away. “They didn’t tell me, but I know.”
Ah, well, fuck, that makes a whole lot more sense. My irritation with Wilder disperses a little, but he could have been nicer about it.
“They are loyal to you, and that’s good. I know the kind of bond you create when you explore together. I miss that. It was the only reason I even let Ajax think about putting me on a team. In all honesty, the idea of being on another one hurts.”
“Your father?” he asks, and I eye him. “I overheard.”
“My father. He’d been my partner for longer than I can remember, and then it was just me. It almost felt like I was betraying him by going to Venture, and the thought of joining a team? I felt bad,” I admit, sharing something I haven’t even told Ajax or my father.
“If he loves you, then he would want you to be safe and happy,” he responds after a while. “I don’t think he would mind.”
“You’re probably right. He’s a good man. He would have loved it here.” I smile fondly as I look around the jungle. “He was always most at home in places like this. He loved nature more than life. It’s where my love for it came from. I was in jungles and forests before I could even speak. I wish he could see this place.”
“You can show him when you get back,” Aiy offers.
“It isn’t the same, but yeah, I will. It’s why I keep going, why I’m determined to find it. More recognition means more money, and more money means supporting research to help others like him,” I explain, though I’m not sure why.
“Not him?” he asks, his eyes searching my face curiously.
“It’s too late for him.” The words are choked, and I look back into the flames. “We both know it. We just don’t like to admit it.”
