Page 58 of Britta & the Beach Boy
“We should get right down to business,” Dad says.
That’s when I’m certain things aren’t going to turn out the way I want them to. Dad’s not a “down to business” guy. He’s more of a, “let’s wander down a few tangents, then forget what we’re talking about,” kind of guy.
“The city has offered a good price forBritta’s,and I think we should take it,” he says, going from point A to point B at bullet-train speed.
Meanwhile, I’m still at the station wondering when the steam engine is going to arrive. “Excuse me?”
I look at my brothers one by one until Adam finally speaks up. “I don’t like it either, Britta, but the repairsaregoing to be really expensive.”
“How expensive?” I ask.
“Basically, we have to tear down the whole building and start from scratch—the foundation isn’t salvageable and it would be more expensive to lift what we have and fix the foundation than it would be to rebuild. Selling to the city is the more reasonable option, but it sucks.” Adam’s mouth pulls into a tight line that tells me he’s no happier saying it than I am hearing it.
I look at the faces of my family, lined up on my screen in tiny squares, expecting one of them to jump in. When they don’t, I say what they should. “Then let’s tear the whole building down and start from scratch. That’s what Mom would want.” My throat is dry, and tears sting my eyes.
“I don’t think she would, Britta,” Dad says softly.
Zach and Bear both nod before Zach says, “The city has made us a good offer, Britta. We can split it five ways.”
“Or,” Bear butts in, “we can use the money to convert the living space attached to Cassie’s bookstore into a new location forBritta’sand transfer the ownership to Britta the way it should have been done in the beginning. It’s ridiculous that we are making a decision that should be hers—she’s the one who kept the shop running all these years, never mind the will.”
“That’s my vote,” Zach says, and I wonder if he’s already proposed the idea to my family.
“Mine too,” Bear and Dad say at the same time.
“Financially, it makes the most sense,” Adam mumbles. “But I don’t like it. I want to keepBritta’sas much what it is now as we can.”
I don’t say anything. My chest squeezes so tight I can barely breathe, let alone talk. When I finally take in enough air to speak, all I can whisper is, “What about Mom?”
Bear is the first to answer. “The city wants to expand the indoor ice rink into a bigger community center and the center is still going to be named after Mom. She loved hockey, and she loved Paradise. It’s still a tribute to her, in my opinion. And we could still haveBritta’s. It’s just a different location.”
Naming the community center after Mom was one condition Bear and I asked for when we convinced the city council to fund the ice rink. But having Mom’s name on a building isn’t the same as having the coffee shop she spent her life building. It has myname, butBritta’swas always mom’s. The community sees it that way. I see it that way. Giving up the location feels so wrong.
“Or you can take your portion of the money from the sale and do whatever you want with it, honey,” Dad says. “If you want to put it toward the newBritta’s,the store will be all yours. But I think the way this needs to go is obvious.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I search their faces, but no one seems to be joking. “I’ve spent most of my life working atBritta’s,and I don’t get a say in what happens to it?”
“Of course, you do.” Dad’s sincere tone sets loose the tears I’ve been holding back. “We all want what’s best for the shop, but even more, we want what’s best for you. Mom worried you wouldn’t ever leave if you came home to take care of her. She begged me to talk you out of giving up your internship.” His breath hitches. “But… I wanted my whole family together for the little time we had left.”
I sniff and wipe my cheeks.
“I think that’s why she didn’t leaveBritta’sto only you, Sweetie. She wanted you to have choices, not force a future on you that might not be the one you would otherwise choose. She was being kind, and she was being a good mom when she made that decision.” He swallows hard, then looks at me so close through the screen, I feel like we’re in the same room. “And I’m telling you, too. Paradise will always be your home, but it doesn’t have to be your only home.”
I appreciate what Dad’s saying, but withoutBritta’s,I’m not sure how Paradise can be home. In a matter of weeks, the tether that’s held me to my hometown has unraveled strand by strand, and I can’t tell whether I feel unmoored or…free.
“Britta’shas been as much a home to me as Paradise,” I say. That’s as close as I can get to saying goodbye toBritta’s.
“Honey, home isn’t a place. It’s the people you love,” Dad says quietly. “And we’ll always be here for you, no matter where youare. There’s a lot that’s happened in our family these last few years—all the extra faces on this call are proof of that—and there will be more changes. That’s how we keep growing and moving forward. We all want you to have an opportunity to choose your own path—wherever it leads—knowing that we will always be with you on that journey. Just like Mom is.”
One by one, they all nod. And I realize, my family is giving me permission to live my own dreams, even though I’m not sure what those are anymore.
Then last night’s conversation with Dex comes back to me.IfBritta’swasn’t in the equation, would you want to buyAnnie’s?
I hadn’t thought twice about my answer.
“How much money is there if we sell to the city?” My question comes out staggered and painful.
Following my dream means letting go ofBritta’saltogether.
