Page 158 of Terms Of Un-Endearment
I reckon I’ve been fooling myself that it hasn’t always been that way with him. That’s all on me. Frankie and Dex have warned me often enough about Dad manipulating me that I should have opened my eyes long ago.
Now that I have, I don’t want to turn around and do the same thing to Piper. She deserves to be heard. I point to the only spot to sit, right next to her on the bench.
She nods her permission.
There’s barely room for both of us. She’s wearing a patterned, flowy skirt that hits her at the shins. Her soft yellow shirt hangs off one shoulder, showing off her lightly bronzed skin. Our arms touch, and I’m disappointed when she moves hers away.
She smells faintly citrusy. Like the trees in Mum’s backyard in Aus. Last time I was there—years ago—I helped Mum pick oranges and lemons. Then we peeled and ate oranges, still warm from the sun, right there, smiling at each other as if we hadn’t spent years continents apart.
I’m tempted to share that memory with Piper, but I reckon that’s an alcohol-driven impulse, so I tuck it away for another day.
Then I lean my elbows on my knees and face her. “I meant it this morning when I said I don’t want to be like Dad.” My conversation with him has driven that home even more clearly than when I said the words.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the cash settlement I’m proposing will be better for CynthiaandPiper, so I return to that point. “I know he’s hurt you and Cynthia, but I’m surprised you distrust him so much that you won’t consider the idea of hersettling for anything besides this house. You’ve seen the good qualities Dad has.”
My head’s still fuzzy. I haven’t explained my thoughts clearly, but I’m not sure I’d be able to even if I were stone cold sober. Everything I’m feeling is too raw and new.
Piper’s shoulders soften. She taps my knee with hers, dispelling my fear I’ve offended her while also sending a shock of electricity up my leg.
“Okay, let me try to explain the big picture here without turning it into a pity party.” She shoots me a quick smile, tinged with sadness. “Things haven’t been easy for Mom. She was a single mom before she met Malcolm, and she really loved him. I mean, she really did, Archie.” She turns to look at me as if wanting to make sure I believe her.
Which I do. I think back to how Cynthia would look at Dad. How happy she was to be around him. I haven’t thought about that for a long time. It’s a painful memory I reckon I’ve blocked.
“We had a great life with Malcolm. We had everything we wanted—except for your acceptance,” Piper adds, dryly, before giving my knee another teasing nudge. “When Mom learned he’d been cheating on her almost from the start, it broke her.”
I open my mouth, then close it, reminding myself that my job right now is to listen. I sit up straighter and give her my full attention.
Piper takes another deep breath. “For all Mom’s failings, she’s always taken good care of me. But Malcolm put her in a position where she couldn’t. When she married him, she became the kind of person who couldn’t take care of herself, because that’s whathewanted. Until he didn’t anymore.”
Frustration over my own situation bubbles back to the surface. As much as I’ve judged Cynthia, her experience feels too familiar to the one Dad’s put me in.
“Look, Malcolm was the closest thing I ever had to a real dad.” Piper lays a hand on mine. My eyes drop to the slender curve of her tan fingers against my skin.
“When he cut me off,” she continues. “I blamed myself. I questioned whether I was being selfish chasing my own dreams instead of doing what he wanted, especially after everything he’d done for me. But when I caught him cheating on Mom, it freed me from that guilt, but I also lost every ounce of trust I’d ever had in him.”
“I’m sorry.” I stare at her small hand and wish I could go back in time to be more empathetic. Less of a bully, at the very least. For the first time, I understand how much Dad hurt Piper and Cynthia.
“You’re not responsible for your dad’s actions.I’msorry that I’ve treated you like you are.”
Piper shifts slightly, and I realize I was wrong about her wearing another flowy skirt thing. They’re trousers. As loose and free as a skirt—or how I imagine a skirt feels. Don’t wear them much myself. But the realization hits me that the clothes she wears emulate her best traits. Nothing can contain or mold her without her consent. She’s sure and confident in a fluid, floating way.
And I’m envious.
I’ve been floating too, but not with any freedom. I’m blown by the wind, here and there, with only one goal in mind: avoid being part of Forsythe Tech. I’m starting to see, however, that the only reason that’s worked is because Dad hasn’t insisted. He hasn’t threatened me—until today—the way he did Frankie and Piper, and I guess Cynthia too.
“Can I ask you a question?” She turns to me.
I nod, which is all I can do when I’m trapped in her amber irises. Without thinking, I turn my palm to hers.
She drops her eyes to our hands, hers resting on top of mine, our fingertips touching. “Why is it so important foryouto keep this house? You let it sit empty for almost a year before Dex and Britta needed it, right? If you didn’t want to live here then, why do you want to live here now?”
Her eyes come back to mine and her tongue darts across her bottom lip. “Is it just to make things difficult for my mom?”
I take a breath and curl my fingers through hers. I want to answer her honestly, but I have to answer myself honestly first. “I didn’t want to live in the house after I found out Dad had used it for his own…let’s say, purposes.”
Her face twists with confusion, and she slowly pulls her hand away from mine. “But you helped hide it from Mom’s attorney by agreeing to have it put in your name.”
“I didn’t understand that was the reason at the time,” I say, hoping she believes me. Already missing her touch. “I thought Dad was giving it to me because he’d bought it for Frankie and me in the first place. Even though I traveled a lot coaching Dex, LA was our home base. It was home,period.I reckon I held on to it just in case I might need it.”
