Page 161 of Terms Of Un-Endearment
“She put self-tanner in my face wash,” I say over their cries, which immediately stop.
Everyone is quiet as I take a seat next to Dex. I’ve preached the gospel of skincare more than once to every bloke in this room. I’m not looking for sympathy, but I appreciate their moment of silence for my lost face wash.
“It’s not that bad, Arch,” Rhys says.
“It was a low blow, mate.” Dex pats my back.
His condolences don’t sound entirely sincere.
Britta, on the other side of Dex, leans forward to catch my eye. “I hate to say it, Archie, but you’re not going to beat Piper.”
“I’m not trying to beat her. Everything I’ve done is payback for the pranks she’s pulled on me.” I don’t meet her eye, hoping she doesn’t hear the lie in my voice or read it on my face.
What’s happening between Piper and me is more than a ridiculous prank war. Maybe that’s how it started, but everything’s changed since I pulled her into the gym. At least for me. She still wants me out of the house, but I’m not sure what I want anymore. I definitely don’t want to go back to Brisbane. That much I’m sure about. Problem is, I don’t know how to stayhere without the beach house. But I also can’t figure out how to keep it without unraveling the thin thread tethering me to Piper.
Every time I talk to her, I want our connection to be more than a thread. I want a thick rope that’s strong enough to keep us together after our parents’ marriage ends.
I have no idea what to do with these feelings. The fact is, I can’t keep this house and Piper at the same time. The decision which one I should fight for should be easy.
It’s not.
That realization needs some serious processing.
I’ve given Piper a place to stay—partly to make up for the way I treated her when we were younger—and tried to find a solution to this house mess that benefits us all. Somehow, I end up coming out in the wrong with purple hair bleached blond and a bad tan to boot.
Yet, instead of hating her, I hate the thought of her never forgiving me. Or, worse, never wanting to see me again.
“My mom used to say you catch more flies with honey,” Britta says, interrupting my thoughts. “You could try that approach instead of spiking her perfume with garlic.”
“Piper told you about that?” I wince at the memory. I still need to replace her perfume.
Britta nods at the same time the guys let out a collective groan as the Cats score again against the Lions. Before the wailing stops, Dex tugs on Britta’s hand.
“Let’s clean up and get out of here. You’ve got an early morning,” he says.
“Don’t worry about cleaning up.” I wave away his suggestion.
“You sure?”
I nod. “Yeah. Get your wife to bed.”
“Gladly,” he says in a voice that gets a blush, followed by a pinch, from Britta before she calls upstairs to Stella that they’re leaving.
I’m almost relieved they’re leaving. It’s hard enough sorting through my thoughts about Piper without talking about everything I’ve done wrong, too.
Everyone says their goodbyes and half an hour later when the game ends, the other’s follow. As soon as they leave, I face the kitchen and regret not accepting their offers to help. I have as much idea how to clean up this disaster as I do about how to sort through the feelings Piper’s stirred up.
Both tasks seem impossible.
I turn my back on the kitchen and check the surf report on my phone. Wave will be good in the morning. That’s what I need to sort all this out in my head—a good surf sesh. Which means bed for me. Kitchen can wait.
I make it three steps before I turn around. I can’t stop replaying every time Piper has compared me to Dad—and not in the way I’d want to be compared to him.
For all his faults, Dad is smart and works hard. He cares about his family, even if the way he shows it sometimes does more damage than good. He’s built a successful conglomeration of businesses from the ground up.
I’ve always known he wasn’t perfect, but Piper’s bluntness about the way he’s hurt people has forced me to really look at him.And what I’m discovering is a man who I don’t want to model myself after.
The first step there, I realize, is to be aware of how my decisions affect other people. If I walk away from this dirty kitchen, Piper may feel like she has to clean up after me, or that I expect her to. I don’t...at least, not anymore.
