Page 60 of A Good Heart is Hard to Find
‘Well, I certainly don’t intend sleeping with you just to make it worth your while.’
‘I can’t think what’s got into you, but I can’t see any point in carrying on this discussion. I don’t suppose you’ve got any decent food in the house either?’
‘No,’ I said shortly.
He sighed long-sufferingly.‘I’m not driving all the way home without eating something, so it had better be the pub, I suppose.’
We walked to the King’s Arms in silence, two old, old lovers with nothing left to say, and I felt quite cold, empty and somehow bereft. There was a space inside me where I thought our eternal love had been burning, but the fire had definitely gone out and the embers were cooling.
I was sure he’dloved me once, in his way, but then when he had overcome my resistance he started to take me more andmore for granted, which probably happens in a lot of marriages too.
Max clearly still found me desirable, especially after his absence, but not only would I have to contend with the horrid beard and the ghost in the bed, I found I didn’t particularly want sex without love when sober and in myright mind, whereas it didn’t seem to bother him in the least.
It was a pity Orla didn’t find him attractive, because then he could just have transferred his casual attentions to her, thus fulfilling a useful purpose.
She was sitting in the pub lounge with Jason and waved as we went in, but Jason scowled from under his bushy eyebrows like a grumpy and possibly dangerous brown bear.
Max ledthe way to a table away from them, and without asking went to order food and drink. He did acknowledge the other two in passing, but that was all he ever did. He always said he wanted to be alone with me, to make the most of our time together, but perhaps he just couldn’t be bothered?
It was early yet, so there were few customers in the lounge, and only the jingle of the fruit machine in thebar.
Charles came in with his bundle of parish papers, beamed generally round, and settled himself in his usual seat. I didn’t think he noticed Max, possibly because his distance glasses were pushed up on top of his head. I gave him a wave to test if he could see me, but the only effect was on Jason, who brightened slightly and waved back.
‘Your boyfriend’s looking jealous,’ Max said, settinga glass of white wine in front of me. Clearly he’d forgotten I hate white wine. He seemed to have managed to forget almost everything I liked and disliked in only a few months’ absence. ‘You shouldn’t encourage him like that. He might think we want him to come and join us.’
‘I was waving at the vicar; and you know very well thatJason isn’t my boyfriend, so he has nothing to be jealous about.’
‘No, I suppose you aren’t very tempted by a man whose wife suddenly vanished without trace,’ he agreed. ‘You never know.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ I stared at him, astonished.
‘Isn’t that what you told me? She left her son behind and most of her things, and she’s not been heard of since? Very odd.’
‘Not odd at all,’ I said, leaping to Jason’s defence. ‘She and Jason were always rowing, andif you’d ever seen her son you’d understand how she could leave him behind, because anyone would. It wasn’t like she left a sweet little toddler, he was a big spotty adolescent. Besides, Jason might have a quick temper, but he wouldn’t have harmed her!’
‘You were quick enough to suspectmeof harming Rosemary!’
‘Not of killing her – it’s just that there was that guilt, so I feel sure you knowsomething you aren’t telling me about.’
And I wasn’t about to tell Max that Orla and I had discussed whether Jason might have accidentally done something to Tanya in a fit of rage, because he was so uniformly nice to his awful son that the foul youth must be holdingsomedark secret over his father’s head.
‘I think you should seriously consider what you want from life, Cassy,’ Max said sententiously.‘Perhaps you will have come to your senses by the time I get back.’
Not unless he shaved that beard off, I wouldn’t, and probably not ever where he was concerned if coming to my senses meant believing all his lies again.
Part of me wished my spell had not been broken by Rosemary’s chill breath of suspicion, but it had, and there was no going back.
He sat there looking huffy and pompous, andI looked away, fighting for control, as tears began to well.
At that moment the Demon Prince walked through the door like dark thoughts had conjured him up. His eyes met and held mine, shining the cold greeny-blue of something on a collision course with theTitanic.
‘What are you staring at?’ demanded Max, affronted. ‘Didn’t you hear what I said?’
I wrenched my gaze away with an effort andhalf-turned towards Max. ‘Nothing. I—’
‘Good evening, Cass,’ said Dante’s slightly gravelly voice behind me, and he rested his large hand intimately on the nape of my neck for a moment, like he was about to measure it for a collar.
Startled, I twisted round indignantly (although I must admit my timbers shivered prow to stern and back again), but before I could say anything he added politely:‘Is this your father?’ And taking Max’s limp hand he shook it enthusiastically.
