Page 159 of The Christmas Invitation
Cast your mind back to that weekend in London when George took advantage of me. I told you the truth about this incident, just not the whole of it.
I was a naïve, romantic idiot and had convinced myself we were in love. But in fact, I was in love with the idea of love and in denial about my true sexuality.
However, the moment we arrived in London he announced that he had arranged for us to be married at a registry office that morning! He gave me no time to think, but swept me off my feet and, before I knew it, I was coming out of some anonymous Victorian building as Mrs George Doome.
But it was all some horrible mistake, as we discovered back at the flat. There was nothing loving about what happened then … and it was a moment of blinding revelation for me. My revulsion, along with the discovery on his part that I would not gain control over my capital for another ten years, led to a terrible scene.
He said our marriage wasn’t legal anyway, since he’d lied about several things to get the licence – I was under age for a start – so we could just forget it had ever happened. This entirely suited me and I got in a taxi and went to Godmama’s house. Thank God she was out, so that by the time she returned I was in control of myself and could pretend nothing had happened … Inside, I was just numb with shock, which is why I was in denial about the pregnancy for so long.
It was not until a couple of years later that I began to wonder if our marriage had been legal after all and so his subsequent one not, but I was living with Suzanne by then and it was of no importance to me.
I now lay the matter in your – and Henry’s – hands to decide what, if anything, to do about it. The best course is probably nothing.
I hope you sometimes think of me kindly, as I think of you. You were a great support to me when I needed it most, even if you could never return my affection in the way I wanted.
I will sign this with my love, in any case,
Nessa Cassidy
40
The Elephant in the Room
I hadn’t known until I heard Mum’s voice just how much I had feared she was dead. For a moment my throat closed up and I couldn’t speak.
Then I said shakily, ‘Where on earthareyou, Mum?’
‘Mumbai, of course,’ she said. ‘Didn’t Oshan tell you? He gave me this number when I rang the Farm earlier.’
‘No, he didn’t tell me. Perhaps he wanted it to be a surprise … which it certainly is. Have you been in Mumbai all this time?’
‘Oh, no, I was in a very remote ashram for ages. They took me in after I had some kind of accident, and when I got better I simply couldn’t remember who I was.’
‘Didn’t they try to find out?’
‘No, but I was quite happy there, so I didn’t want them to.’
‘We were worried. We had no idea what had happened to you. River even went out to India to look for you.’
‘Dear River!’ she said. ‘I’m sure he enjoyed the visit even if he didn’t find me.’
‘But you’re not at this ashram any more?’
‘No, because some other Europeans visited and one of them had met me years ago at a party and recognized me … andthen it all came back to me in a rush.’ She sighed. ‘I was sad to leave the ashram but I felt I’d had enough, so when my new friends left, I went with them.’
That sounded a lot more like Mum than staying in the ashram for a few years.
‘I’ve got my luggage back, but my passport’s expired, so I’ll have to visit the Embassy. But there’s no rush.’
‘But you’ll need one to come home, won’t you?’
‘Eventually,’ she agreed. ‘Luckily, my friends areterriblyrich and have paid for me to stay in this lovely hotel … and actually, I met someone wonderful in the bar, and I think I’m going to marry him. He’s a maharaja, or a prince or something,’ she added.
I held the phone away and looked at it as if she might pop out, like a genie from a lamp, but could still hear her soft, dreamy voice droning on about Prince Charming, whoever he was. I was pretty sure his real namewasn’tDarling Boo-boo.
Eventually I broke into this catalogue of his finer points and told her, as succinctly as I could, that actually, her biological parents had been married and her father, now deceased, was the brother of the man I’d come here to paint.
‘How wonderful!’ she said vaguely.
