Page 150 of The Wedding Dress Repair Shop
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Probably due to all the research she did for her books, Honey knew that however old a body appeared to be, the police must be informed and she rang them right away.
Then, since she suspected they would take away the journal and letter as well as the body, she sent Viv and Pearl to scan them into the computer in her office, before the police arrived.
After that, we all went downstairs and had a stiff drink.
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Later, once the formalities were over and the sad remains had been removed, we had a very late and rather subdued supper.
Honey ran off a few copies of the final journal pages while I helped Viv make the coffee. Then we all retired to the sitting room to read them.
Honey gave the others a brief résumé of Rosa-May’s life to the point where the final journal entries started, but after that there was silence in the room, except for the crackling of paper or the chink of a coffee cup in its saucer.
Even though I was used to reading Rosa-May’s handwriting, it wasn’t easy, because these last entries had obviously been hastily written at a time when she had a very troubled mind. And, as I read on, I was not surprised.
47
Last Words
12 August 1815
This afternoon my husband returned to me, accompanied by the doctor who had attended him on the long journey home.
I had braced myself not to recoil when I first saw him – lame, suffering from the loss of his arm and perhaps disfigured from his head wound … but what I had not expected was that he should be so changed in his character and his manner towards me.
In this wasted, bitter man, a long scar puckering one side of his face in a way that made him seem a stranger, I could find no trace of the lively, merry, young man I had so incontinently married.
I know my own sickness has much changed me, too, and when I first saw him he stared at me as if he did not know me and then was very cold and distant in his manner.
I had hoped that, once he had recovered somewhat from his injuries, he would be my ally in wishing to leave the Hall and soon agree to our moving to London. As a younger son, he did not have much income of his own, but I could return to the stage once I had delivered my child – a prospect that still made me shudder with apprehension – and recovered my looks and health.
I pray some of his old affection and cheerful spirit will return to him soon …
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Today I begged an interview with Dr Bowen, who was staying with us for some days to see Guy settled, and he assured me that the effects of such injuries as Guy had sustained often caused a temporary change in character. But with patience and good nursing, he would soon become more his old self.
After this, I ventured to ask him about my own condition and the weakness the endless sickness caused me, which the local physician had ascribed to mere hysteria! He was most kindly and said he disagreed, for he had heard of other cases of a similar kind, where the situation had improved once the three-month stage was passed. This was very much as Sara had suggested and I hoped it would be so. Meanwhile, I was to rest – although I had little energy to do anything else! – and eat small amounts of whatever I felt I could stomach, at as frequent intervals as possible.
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The good doctor has left, but I managed, without anyone seeing me, to slip letters to Letty and to Mrs Blake into his hand and begged him to see they reached my friends when he returned to London. He assured me he would and stowed them away in his coat pocket.
I was very sorry to see him go.
Guy keeps to his rooms and, although I go in each evening to wish him goodnight, he evinces little interest in seeing me and turns the scarred side of his face to the wall.
I must be patient …
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There is little evidence of summer to cheer my days, for as August moves into September, the sun seems to be permanently obscured by cloud.
I think Sara and the good doctor were right in saying my health would soon improve, for, while I remain sickly and often nauseous, I can retain a little more nourishment.
Guy says that I could be well if I wished, and most women with child did not fall into such a sickly state! He is not kind and said I had entirely lost my looks …
