Page 30 of Finding Home
I take a step closer, and her eyes widen.
“I um…” she starts, and I take another step. “I heard noise when I got up to get water. Hot.” Her cheeks flush, and she stammers, “I was hot. Needed water. Not you’re hot. I mean, you are, but I’m not saying that.Oh. My. God.I’m just going to go to bed now. Bye.” She quickly turns and rushes up the stairs.
SEVENTEEN
EVERETT
In the morning, I find a note on the kitchen counter, and Chloe is nowhere to be seen. She must have snuck out before I even got up. I read her note about the chicken noodle soup her mom sent her home with and immediately dish some into a container to take with me to work today.
I immediately notice Lila’s disappointment when she makes it downstairs and sees that Chloe isn’t here. We eat breakfast and both get ready for our days.
While I’m buckling Lila in the car, she asks, “Why wasn’t Miss M here this morning?”
“She had plans. You’ll see her at school.”
“What plans?”
“I’m not sure. She just said she had plans.”
“Did you hurt her feelings, Daddy?”
That stops in me my tracks, and I look up and meet my daughter’s eyes. “Why would you think I hurt her feelings?”
“You grunt a lot. You only talk to me and Grandma.” She shrugs. “Maybe she thought you don’t like her.”
My daughter, ever the observer, hits me right in the fucking heart. I know Chloe didn’t leave because I hurt her feelings, more likely because of a sense of either awkwardness or embarrassment after last night, but the thought that my daughter thinks I may have hurtChloe’s feelings doesn’t sit right with me. And not just that Lila thinks I could, but the actual possibility of hurting Chloe’s feelings hits me in a way I never imagined. I’d rather cause myself pain than do that to her, and I can’t put a finger on why she makes me feel that way.
“I’ll make sure to be nicer, but I didn’t hurt her feelings.”
Lila watches me, tilting her head slightly before nodding and saying, “Okay, Daddy. I believe you.”
I kiss her cheek and get in the car.
When I drop Lila off at school, she runs straight to Chloe and hugs her legs. The smile that spreads over Chloe’s face warms my chest. She spots me, and I slowly make my way to her as she greets more of her students.
“Morning,” she says, a blush climbing up her cheeks.
“Morning.”
Silence fills the space between us, and she tries to look anywhere but at me.
“Lila missed you this morning.”
Her face twists, and she looks at me. “I’m sorry.”
“She’ll be fine. She thought I hurt your feelings and scared you off.”
Her mouth quirks, and she bites her lip. “Not this time.”
Those words, like she believes it’s a possibility, tell me I need to reevaluate how I am with Chloe, because while she may only be helping me out with Lila, something in my gut tells me I can’t lose her. I can’t scare her off.
I itch to pull her into my chest and kiss the top of her head and tell her I’ll never hurt her, but I can’t promise that. I’m no one to be able to pull her in close to me and enjoy the feeling of her warmth and her pressed against my body.
“Thanks for the soup,” I say instead, and she nods.
“Of course. Mom insisted.”
“Grandma will pick Lila up today and take her overnight, so you’ll have the house to yourself.”
