Page 45 of Finding Home
Her expression is a mix of worry and patience, knowing that I’ll open up to her when I’m ready.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I dip my head again, running my hands over the back of my head and gripping my neck as I stare down at the floor between my legs.
I haven’t talked about Renee to anyone in a long time. Friends had their own judgments of her, and I can’t have certain conversations with Lila about her. Not only is she too young, but there’s certain conversations you never have with your child about the other parent. When Renee and I split, we agreed we’d never trash talk the other to Lila. To friends is one thing, but never to Lila. I’ll stand by that promise until the day I die. When Lila inevitably has questions, I’ll answer them, but I refuse to say an ill word about Renee.
I release a deep breath and speak to the floor, knowing that if I look at Chloe, I’ll clam up. “Lila’s mom passed away about a year ago. She must have been struggling before she passed, because we weren’t following our original custody agreement. I was getting more time with Lila, and while I love spending time with my daughter, I feared she wasn’t getting enough time with her mom.” I grip my neck tight and lift my head a little, still focusing on the ground as I speak. “It was around the time that Renee stopped taking Lila for all her scheduled days that Lila started to be less trusting of people. She’d cling to me when we went places and would almost never respond when someone talked to her. Kindergarten was hard for her. She made one friend who she attached herself to and didn’t talk to a lot of her classmates. Her teacher couldn’t get her to open up.” I turn and look at Chloe now. “Until you. You have this way with her. I don’t know what it is, but you have her talking in a way she has never done and trusting you in a way that scares the shit out of me at times.”
Chloe wipes at a few tears that have fallen since I started talking and takes a deep breath. “That little girl is so special, and to know she’s gone through all that…” She releases a deep breath. “No child should have to experience that. Her strength only speaks to you, Everett. You’re such a good dad.” She shuffles closer to me on the couch. “I know you may be all gruff and grumpy on the outside, but I see you Everett Lawson. I see the softness you have for your daughter.”
The corner of my mouth tips up as my shoulders relax. Chloe’s words are validating in a way I didn’t realize I needed. She wraps her arms around me, and I stiffen for a few seconds before I relax into her hold. I can’t remember the last time I was the person that was held and provided comfort. The fact that Chloe is the one doing it only solidifies every thought I have about her.
TWENTY-FIVE
CHLOE
Things have felt oddly normal and comfortable with Everett since he opened up to me about his ex. I was surprised that he let me hold him, but we sat like that for nearly an hour, my arms wrapped around him, before he finally pulled away and said we should get some sleep. I swore he was going to kiss the top of my head before he decided against it and left me watching him as he went upstairs.
On Saturday after breakfast, we all meet at the front door and head out to Everett’s truck and he drives us into town. He parks, and we walk down Main Street. I smile at people as we pass, and they smile back. It’s one of the things I love about Willow Valley the most, how loving and welcoming everyone is. They may be busybodies who love to gossip, but almost every one of them would give you the shirt off their back if they thought you needed it. This town rallied around my family after everything Grayson and Rebecca went through, and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
I push the door open to the store, and Lila and Everett follow me. Tyson, a local teen, greets us as we approach the counter.
“Good morning,” I say. “How are you?”
“I’m good, ma’am. How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you, Tyson.”
Tyson ducks his head, and for a second, I think I see the tips ofhis ears turn pink. I hear a small chuckle beside me, and I look at Everett, but his face is blank and grumpy as ever, arms crossed over his chest.
“What can I help you with, ma’am?” Tyson asks.
“We’re looking for a pair of boots for this one,” I say, running my hand over Lila’s hair. Everett did braids in it this morning, and Lila was beaming when she came down with them, but I don’t think it rivalled the pride on Everett’s face when I told him they looked good.
Tyson nods and asks, “What size is she usually?”
I look at Everett, and he grunts, “Kids’ thirteen.”
Tyson nods. “Do we know which boots we want?”
“I want boots like Chloe,” Lila says beside me.
I give Tyson the details, and he comes out with two pairs of boots and leads us to a spot with a bench, and I help Lila into the boots. She tries them both on and walks around, coming back and telling me she preferred the first pair. While Tyson packages them up, we wander around the store. She points at a hat, and I grab it down and place it on her head, and she walks over to the mirror and looks at herself.
“It’s so cool,” she says.
“It is. Maybe we’ll come back and grab you one before summer starts,” I say and bite my lip almost immediately after the words leave my mouth. There I go making plans for the future with this little girl. I avoid looking at Everett, not sure what his reaction will be.
“Can we?” Lila asks.
“We’ll see.”
While Lila and Everett talk, I sneak over to the counter and pay Tyson for the boots, knowing that if I don’t beat Everett to it, he’ll pay for them, even though I’m the one who wanted to bring Lila. I grab the boots and turn to them. “You two ready?”
Everett nods and reaches for his wallet.
I hold up the box. “All taken care of.”
“North,” he says, and something about that nickname, which I have no idea what it means, has goosebumps erupting up my arms, and I’m holding back a shiver.
