Page 61 of Finding Home
I nod, remembering that from our walk back to my place.
“My parents didn’t just move us around a lot. They weren’t really present during my childhood. All the important lessons and structure you’re supposed to have I got from my grandparents. My grandparents were the ones on top of my grades, calling at least oncea week to check in on me. My parents didn’t even bother to go to my parent–teacher conferences.” He runs his free hand through his hair and squeezes my hand, like our connection is grounding him and helping him talk about this. “I promised myself when I found out about Lila that I’d be more like my grandparents than my own parents. I wasn’t going to do to her what mine did to me.”
I lean forward and take his hand between both of mine and squeeze. “Everett, you’re an amazing father. I’ve gotten to watch you with her and all the things you do for her, and that little girl loves you to pieces. I’m sure almost every parent wonders if they’re doing everything right when it comes to their kids, but there’s no one perfect way to raise kids. You’re there for her and doing everything you can to make sure she has everything she needs.”
He brings my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on the back of my knuckles. “Thanks, North.”
We stare at each other, and in this moment, a puzzle piece falls into place of my understanding of Everett Lawson. The first thing to make him guard his heart and push people away was his parents. The thought of a small Everett wondering why his parents didn’t love him guts me. I close my eyes and gather my strength to not let my tears fall, because the last thing Everett would ever want is pity.
When I open them, I force a smile on my face and squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling me.”
He nods, and I feel his walls starting to go up again, so I move the conversation along.
“My brother and his wife are coming to town for Christmas,” I say.
That seems to pull him back.
“I’m guessing you’re looking forward to it.”
I nod, and my smile overtakes my face. “Yeah. Grayson moved out of town for university as soon as he could. For the last ten years, he’s come back as little as possible, memories he didn’t want to relive.”
I take a sip of my drink, preparing for what I’m about to tell him. I haven’t had to tell anyone this story before; everyone in town knows it. No one talks about it anymore. It’s a part of our history, but they’ve all respected my family’s and Rebecca’s privacy.
“When Grayson was in grade twelve, he was dating his long-term girlfriend, Rebecca. One day after school, they came home and told us that Rebecca was pregnant. Our parents weren’t exactly thrilled but were supportive of them. I was excited to be an aunt. Grayson’s three years older, so I was only in grade nine. A few months later, they lost the baby. Rebecca had a hard time with it, and Grayson felt guilty about some of the things that happened as a result. Their relationship ended, and Grayson left town for university. Ever since, he’s avoided coming home, too many memories and the chance of running into Rebecca who still lives in town. Grayson brought Hannah with him in July, and something about her had him confronting things he’s been avoiding. I was surprised when he texted and said they’d be coming for a week. I miss my brother, so I’m glad we can spend some time together, and Hannah’s amazing.”
Everett takes in everything I’ve just said and leans forward. “Has anyone told you how strong you are?”
I raise a brow, unsure of what he means.
“The way you talk about Grayson, I can tell you two were close growing up. You at what, fifteen, thought you were going to be an aunt and while you weren’t the one who lost the pregnancy, you lost a family member, not just the baby, but your brother. He left you behind needing to escape his own reality and trauma, and I know that couldn’t have been easy.”
I wipe at a lone tear that’s falling down my cheek. The way that Everett sees me, all of me, is more intense than I ever thought it would be. Not just the superficial things, but those things I don’t always vocalize, not even to my best friends.
Our food is delivered, and we manage to move the conversation on to more easy-going topics. I learn that Everett actually likes the mindlessness of a romcom movie and has watched a few on his own while channel surfing. I tell him about my favourite spots around Willow Valley and how I want to share them with him and Lila.
When we finish eating, he pays the bill and offers me his hand before leading us out of the restaurant and to his truck. He doesn’t turn it on right away, instead he turns to me and says, “I promised Lila I’d call her before bed tonight, do you mind if I do that before we go?”
I smile and shake my head. “Of course not, give her my love.”
I grab my own phone while he calls his grandma and start scrolling. I’m barely paying attention to my phone; listening to the way Everett talks to Lila is distracting in the best way.
“Of course, I am, Peanut,” he says, and I hear him sigh before turning to me. He hands me his phone. “Lila has asked to talk to you.”
“Hello, Miss Lila. How’s your weekend with Grandma?” I ask, smiling.
“It’s good. We painted and played games, and tomorrow we’re making cookies.”
“That sounds like lots of fun.”
“It is. Can I ask you something, Chloe?” she asks, her voice serious.
“Anything,” I say.
“Is Daddy being nice to you? I know Daddy can be grumpy, but I told him to be nice to you.”
I bite my lip and watch Everett, who is gripping the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact. “He’s being very nice,” I say, holding back my laugh.
“Good,” she says matter-of-factly.
