Page 24 of Harmony Island Gazette
Was it wrong that I wanted him with me? He was on the only person on this entire Earth who I felt I could trust. And I wanted a trusted friend sitting next to me as Kevin stared me down. I knew I was going to refuse his offer, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to entertain what it would feel like to say yes.
“It’s just dinner,” I said, forcing a smile once more.
Boone paused, his eyes searching mine before he dropped his hand and stepped back. “Okay.”
“I’ll be back later.” I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open.
I held my breath as I walked onto the porch. I forced my feet down the back steps. The gravel crunched around my sandals as I made my way to my car and unlocked the driver’s door. It wasn’t until I was buckled and the door shut that I finally let my breath out.
I shoved the key into the ignition. As I was backing out of the spot, I let my gaze slip back to the house. Boone was standing on the porch now. He’d stopped at the top step, his arm lifted and resting on the pole next to him. He was staring at me.
I couldn’t read his gaze but I didn’t try that hard. After all, I wasn’t sure I had the strength to reject his offer if he asked me one more time.
Just as I drove past him, I waved. He didn’t move, which made me wonder if he’d seen. I thought about turning around to do it again, but then decided against it. I didn’t want to come across as desperate or weird, and turning around just to make sure Boone saw that I waved to him would put me solidly in the middle of crazy town.
Besides, I was on my way to see Kevin. I needed to remove all thoughts of Boone and focus on the situation that I was about to walk into.
By the time I got off the island and to the restaurant, I’d forced all thoughts of Boone and the interaction between us from my mind. I exited off the freeway and into the largest city closest to Harmony, Athens. Leave it to Kevin to insist that we dine off the island. He always said he couldn’t imagine himself eating anywhere that didn’t have a Michelin star.
I almost went the wrong way down a one-way but, thankfully, corrected myself before driving into oncoming traffic. The restaurant had a valet, and I was more than happy to turn my keys over to the young man in a suit sitting behind the valet stand.
I smoothed down the front of my dress, wondering if I was underdressed, before I gathered my confidence and made my way to the front doors of the restaurant. This was what I wanted to wear, and if it wasn’t good enough for Kevin, I wasn’t going to care. I was done working to please that man.
The maître d’ seemed to know who I was because he said Kevin’s name before I could even speak. All I could do was nod. He extended his hand and beckoned me to follow him. I started to lead the way until I realized I didn’t know where I was going, so I held back long enough for the maître d’ to get in front.
Kevin was in the farthest table. He was sitting alone with a glass of wine in front of him. He was watching something on his phone, and when we approached the table, he didn’t bother to look up. Instead, he silently clapped his hands before pumping his fist in the air.
I knew those gestures. He was watching a football game.
“Hey,” I said as I stepped up next to him. I waited for him to get up to assist me with my chair, but he didn’t even acknowledge me. I was left standing there, waiting for the gracious maître d’ to help. He pulled out the chair and then helped me scoot it forward until I was comfortably sitting with my knees under the table.
“Good game?” I asked as I leaned forward, hoping that Kevin would see me.
“The Tigers are going to the Super Bowl,” he said as he moved his phone like he was turning it off, but instead he just moved it so it wasn’t directly in front of him...but it was still playing. “I’d put a million on that right now.”
If I still cared about Kevin, his inability to give me his full and undivided attention would hurt. But not now. I’d gotten used to being his last priority.
His gaze drifted over to me before he leaned in and pressed his lips to my cheek. “You look beautiful,” he whispered, his voice turning raspy. In the past, that would have my heart pumping and my body warming to his touch. Today, it was taking all of my strength not to shiver and pull away from his closeness.
If he sensed my hesitation, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he just reached over, grabbed the silverware that had been wrapped in a cloth napkin, and shook it out. Then he leaned forward and gently placed the napkin on my lap. As he drew his hands away, his fingers brushed my legs.
If it had been anyone else, I would have chalked up that touch to a mistake. But this was Kevin. He didn’t make mistakes. Everything was always calculated with him. And the math was always skewed toward Kevin getting what he wanted from me even if I wasn’t willing to give it.
“This place is nice,” I said, deciding the best thing I could do was play along. This was going to be our last dinner. I needed information, and that was it. I wasn’t here to get back with him. I wasn’t here to mend our broken relationship. I didn’t even want a friendship. I just wanted to know if he was willing to be a dad.
And if he wasn’t, I was walking away.
“Ma told me about it. Thought I’d treat my lady.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to my cheek. Then he paused, inhaling deeply. “When are you coming home?” he murmured against my temple.
My instinct was to stiffen at his touch, but I forced myself to remain relaxed. He’d know that something was wrong if I didn’t melt into his arms like I’d done in the past, and I didn’t want him suspecting anything.
“I think we have some things we need to work on,” I said as I turned to meet his gaze. He was inches from my face. All I wanted to do was throw up, but I forced a smile instead.
He frowned. “Like marriage counseling?”
Like divorce. I wanted to say that aloud. I wanted to speak it out to the universe. I wanted Kevin to hear it so he knew that we were over. But my tongue felt heavy in my mouth, making my ability to form the words feel impossible.
“Something like that,” I finally managed to whisper.
