Page 1 of Honey Bee Library
PROLOGUE
Cole
The hushed voicesfrom the nurses and CNAs around us made my skin crawl. They stood in small clusters, keeping their conversations low so no one could hear what they were saying.
I closed my eyes and tipped my face toward the ceiling, praying that when I opened them, I would be anywhere but here. I secretly hoped that this entire experience was nothing more than a bad dream and I was moments away from waking up.
“Mr. Watkins?” a soft voice asked, pulling me from my thoughts and forcing my eyes open. An older woman who looked to be about fifty was standing in front of me. She had black-rimmed glasses perched on the tip of her nose, and her greying hair was pulled up into a loose bun on the top of her head. She was wearing a floral set of scrubs with a stethoscope around her neck. Her expression was gentle as she glanced between Dad and me.
I felt defeated. My prayers had gone unanswered. No amount of wishing or praying could change my situation. I was sitting in the lobby of Seabreeze Memory Lodge with Gran to the left of me and Dad to the right. The reality of our situation slammed into me like a brick wall. Dad and I had made the decision a week ago to find a different solution for Gran. It was no longer safe for her to go unsupervised. She needed around-the-clock care, and we were unable to provide that for her.
Dementia was a cruel disease, and we were moments away from admitting defeat. Time was no longer on our side and the dark cloud of reality hung over me. It was a sobering thought to realize that Seabreeze Memory Lodge was going to be the last place Gran would live.
“Yes,” Dad and I answered at the same time.
I glanced over to see him meet my gaze. He nodded and extended his hand. “Go ahead, Cole,” he said. “You’re her guardian.”
Even though Gran wasn’t Dad’s mom—she was my maternal grandmother—she was his mother in every other sense of the word. After my mom left when I was five, Gran and Dad worked together to raise me. She was there for him through his three marriages and subsequent divorces. She was there for me through high school, college, and every business deal I made after. I didn’t have a memory from my childhood that didn’t include her.
We were a family, even if it was a tad unconventional.
“Okay, Mr. Watkins,” the nurse said as she directed her attention to me. “My name is Faith, and I’ve been assigned to be your grandmother’s primary caregiver. We have the paperwork filled out for Ms. Georgianna. If you don’t have any more questions, I can show you to her room and help get her settled.”
I swallowed against the emotions that had cemented themselves to my throat. “Um, sure,” I said, my body feeling numb as I pressed down on the armrests and stood.
“Great,” she said.
Gran was the only one who didn’t move. She was busy staring out the window to her left. I leaned forward and grabbed her hand. “Come on, Gran,” I said, my voice soft as I waited for her to respond.
She slowly turned to look at me. I watched as it took a few seconds for her gaze to focus. Recognition passed across her face as her lips tipped up into a smile. “Leonard?” she asked as she reached out and cupped my cheek with her hand. “Is that you, Leonard?”
This had become a daily occurrence. Her thinking that I was my grandpa who’d passed away twenty-five years ago. “Gran, it’s me. Cole,” I said as I reached up and took her hand from my face and held it. “I’m your grandson.”
She knit her eyebrows together as she yanked her hand away from me. “No, no. I don’t have a grandson.” Her voice rose with agitation. “My husband is Leonard. Can you get him? Where’s Leonard?”
I hated this disease. If I could fix it, I would.
“Ms. Georgianna, why don’t you come with me? Maybe we’ll run into Leonard on our way to see your new room.” Faith reached out and grasped Gran’s hand. When she motioned for Gran to stand, Gran obeyed. Faith must have had magical powers because all of the agitation that had been building inside of Gran’s body suddenly dissipated, and Faith was able to lead her down the hallway.
Dad and I followed behind them. I kept my gaze down, unable to bring myself to see exactly where Gran was going to live. I wanted to keep her with me, but my house had too many doors and I wasn’t able to protect her like I wanted to. She’d gotten out too many times, and I couldn’t risk the finite time I had left with her.
I needed to know she was safe, and Seabreeze Memory Lodge was the best place for her.
Once we got to her room, I kept to the far corners of her adapted apartment. I watched as Faith led her around, talking softly as she pointed out different features. I knew the descriptions were more for us than Gran—I doubted she would even remember what was said—but I liked how Faith included her. I knew she was trying to help Gran feel as comfortable and independent as she could.
Fifteen minutes later, Gran was pulling at the comforter and humming to herself. She was ready for bed. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I was grateful when Faith took the lead and approached Dad and me.
“If you’re okay, we’ll take it from here. We have her dinner coming in ten minutes, then it’s shower and bed.” She reached out and patted my arm. “Go. Let her get settled in. I’ll text you if anything changes, and feel free to text me with any questions.” She reached into the front pocket of her scrubs and pulled out a business card. “She’s in good hands.”
I pulled out my wallet and stuck her card into one of the sleeves. “Thanks,” I said as I returned it to my back pocket. “I really appreciate it.”
She paused. I could feel her gaze as she studied me. “You’re doing the right thing,” she said with a soft smile.
I swallowed. “Doesn’t feel that way. I just...” My voice trailed off as I stared at Gran before dropping my gaze to the floor. “I just wish I had more time with her.”
“We all do. Time is a cruel mistress.” She paused. “Can I give you a few suggestions that might make this easier?”
“Please.”
