Page 69 of Honey Bee Library
She glanced up at me and then slowly shook her head. “Ralph is on his way with my car. I guess he got it fixed yesterday.”
“Oh.” I hated that I sounded so defeated. “Sounds good. I’ll see you there,” I said as I quickly grabbed out a bottle of water and the shut the fridge door.
I didn’t wait for her to respond. I needed to get the hell out of my house and as far away from Willow as I could. Sure, we were headed to the same place, but at the diner we could stay busy and avoid each other. There wouldn’t be a heavy silence between us like there was when we were alone in my house. And there wasn’t any time to worry about what could have been.
By the time dinner service rolled around, I was exhausted from trying to avoid Willow. But thankfully, she was just as determined to stay away from me. I just hated that my heart was as broken as it was. This was the first time I’d realized that Harmony was not my home and it was never going to be.
Not without Willow.
I leaned against the host stand and blew out my breath. In an act of self-preservation, I’d offered to stick to the front of house. Willow seemed okay with being in the kitchen and working with the cooks to make sure the food went out in a timely manner.
There was a solid wall between us, and that still wasn’t enough distance. I knew she was there on the other side, and it was killing me inside.
Lightning flashed outside the large window followed by a loud boom of thunder. Rain rolled down the glass, perfectly depicting my mood. I sighed as I scrubbed my face with my hand. Thankfully, the rain didn’t drive away the dinner rush, and soon, I was in full swing, grabbing menus and seating patrons.
There was finally a lull in traffic, and I was able to start wiping down the menus in anticipation of the next seating. The door opened, and an older couple walked in. I was halfway through wiping the dessert page, so I let them finish brushing off their jackets and closing their umbrella before I greeted them. Just as I set my rag down, the woman’s voice made me stop.
“Thanks, honey,” she said.
Honey.The smooth way she said that word. The cadence to her voice. I’d heard that before.
Mom.
I turned away from them and stared hard at the ground. Was that her or was I hearing things? I blinked a few times, hating that even though I’d come to Harmony for this exact moment, I couldn’t bring myself to face her.
I slowly turned my head so I was peeking over my shoulder at them. My heart sank when I saw that I had been right. She was older, but it was my mother. She was with some older man I had never seen in my life. He was helping her remove her rain jacket. She looked calm and peaceful. Not like a woman who’d abandoned her son and husband years ago.
And then realization slammed into me. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to talk to her. Maybe I’d decided to come to the diner because I’d held out hope that she missed me. I’d deluded myself into thinking that she regretted what she’d done. That somehow, all she needed was to know I missed her and she’d come back.
I’d been wrong.
I needed to get out of here. I set the menus down on the host stand and hurried through the dining room. “Breia, seat those customers,” I barked as I pushed open the kitchen door and let it swing shut behind me. I didn’t stop until I was in Willow’s office. I rested my hand on her desk so I could catch my breath.
I felt like the world was on top of my shoulders, crushing me. I needed out of this diner. I needed out of this town. I needed out of this state. I wanted to believe that I belonged here, but I knew better. This wasn’t my home and it was never going to be.
“Cole?”
Willow’s soft voice had my entire body tightening, and when I felt her hand on my shoulder, I instantly jerked away. I glanced over to see her standing there with worry in her gaze as she slowly drew her hand back.
Her eyes were wide. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
No. I wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. My life was crumbling around me, and no matter how badly I wanted to stop the wreckage, it was impossible. Everyone eventually left me. I was destined to be alone. Forever.
“I shouldn’t have ever come here,” I whispered as I pushed my hand through my hair before I dragged it down my face. “This was a mistake.”
I could see the hurt in Willow’s gaze, and I would have given anything to fix that. But she had been clear–I was not hers, and she was not mine. The sooner I accepted that, the happier she would be.
“Then why are you here?” she whispered, her words cutting through the silence between us like a hot knife through butter. “You can be a silent partner. I’ll take care of things.” She held my gaze. “I promise.”
I studied her. Maybe she was right. I didn’t belong in Harmony. Miami was my home. Coming here had only created a mess in my life and hers.
“Okay,” I said.
Her eyebrows went up, and I hated the relieved look that passed through her gaze. “Okay?” she whispered.
I’d needed that reaction, to see that she didn’t want me. It solidified my decision to go back to Miami and stay there. I had nothing to come back to here, even if I wanted to return. My time in Harmony was done.
“Is that what you want?” I asked before I could stop myself. I needed her to tell me to leave and never look back. I needed to know that she wanted me gone.
