Page 77 of Honey Bee Library
Anger. Red-hot anger rose up inside of me. I was such a fool to think that she would care enough to help us get Gran back, if only for a moment. But no, everything was about her. Leaving was about her. Gran’s illness was about her. Being here was about her.
She wasn’t going to walk away until she got what she came here for.
“You’ve been so good at staying away for so long, what’s another few minutes?” I glared over at her. Sure, I was acting immature, but what else was I supposed to do? I wasn’t prepared to see her, and now I was face-to-face with the person who hurt me. With the person who, given the chance, would hurt me again.
I was tired of hurting.
I was ready to heal.
“I deserve to see my mom,” she said, her voice low but firm.
I knew Gran would want her to stay. She missed her daughter as much as I missed my mom. I knew, if given the choice, Gran would ask her to stay. She would say that fighting can only be done in close proximity. That it was better to have her here than lost out in the world—I just didn’t see it the same way.
Which is why I flicked my gaze over my shoulder before turning my attention back to Gran. “Then do it when I’m not here.”
I didn’t turn around to see what Bethany was going to do. I kept my focus on Gran’s sleeping face. My ears were pricked to catch any noise that might indicate what she’d chosen. I heard soft whispering between her and who I could only assume was her husband before the faint sound of shuffling feet was followed by the resounding click of the door latch engaging.
Gran and I were finally alone.
The dam inside of me broke. I collapsed onto the armchair and buried my face into Gran’s hand. Being let down by Bethany felt as poignant today as it had been when as a child I realized that she really wasn’t coming back. That my mother had left me.
I wanted things to be different, but Bethany didn’t want to change. The only way I was going to heal was if I shed the weight that came with “what if” and moved forward into the certain future without her.
I felt Gran stir before I felt her pat my head and whisper a rhythmic, “Shh, shh, shh.”
Realizing that she was awake, I glanced up to see her lying back with her eyes closed.
“Gran?” I asked, wondering if I’d imagined things.
She slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head. The smile that emerged almost broke me. It was the smile she saved just for me.
“Cole-Bug,” she whispered, using the nickname she used to call me when I was a kid.
Tears brimmed my eyelids as I brought our clasped hands up to my lips so I could kiss the back of her hand. “Gran,” I whispered.
“How are you, my love?” she asked.
I closed my eyes, committing to memory the feeling of her warm hands and gentle affection for me. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to have her for, and there was no way I was going to waste a single moment.
“Missing you,” I said, glancing up. A tear slipped down my cheek. I sniffled and wiped it away. I wished I was stronger for her. I was getting this rare miracle, and I was wasting it by blubbering like a fool.
“I know, darling.” Her voice was soft and reverent as she studied me. “But it’s good to see you.”
I nodded. “It’s good to see you,” I whispered.
I held her gaze for a moment before she sighed and glanced around. When she brought her gaze back to me, she looked confused. I feared I’d lost her again.
“Where’s that woman who was with you?” she asked, doing another sweep of the room.
I glanced around. And then I realized who she was talking about. Bethany. She’d been the person to bring her out of the cloud of dementia. I scoffed and shook my head. Faith had been right.
Even though I was reveling in the fact that Gran was here with me again, it hurt just a bit to know it was the woman who had broken our hearts who had brought Gran back to me. That I wasn’t enough to spark Gran’s memories.
But I couldn’t hide the fact that Gran’s daughter had returned. My shoulders fell as I whispered, “Bethany.”
When Gran didn’t respond, I glanced over to see her studying me. Her eyebrows were drawn together like she was trying to digest what I had just said.
“No.” She shook her head. “No, not her. There was another woman with you…” She paused. “Had a little boy with her.”
