Page 6 of A Ballad of Phantoms and Hope
Shetsksat me and leans back, flicking my baseball cap so it tips up more. The lovely phantom levels me one last look, her eyes lingering on my cheekbones and lips before turning briskly and exiting off the stage.
I adore her ire already.
I start to heave myself up, ready to chase this mysterious woman and find out why I’m so enchanted with her, but two sets of hands come down on my waist and pull me down off the edge of the stage.
“Lanston! What are you doing?” Yelina says, clearly vexed. I don’t bother looking at the two women as they pull me down. My eyes are desperately trying to track the mysterious phantom.
Poppie grunts as I fall back on her and growls, “You’re ruining the show, for Christ’s sake.” Yelina helps her up and they both glare down at me.
I push myself up and right my ball cap as I retort, “We’re ghosts—I’m not ruining the show for anyone.” The audience is looking beyond us at the normal performance as I expected, and I look at the both of them as if to prove my point. Jericho pushes through the crowd a moment later and looks at me like I’m insane. “What?” I ask, exasperated, and raise my hands up in question.
“That womanwasthe show. We come to see her perform, you jackass.” Jericho barks out a laugh and smacks my back.
My jaw slacks and I look at all three of their faces incredulously. “You come here every year to watch a phantom dance amongst the living?”
Yelina laughs like this is the dumbest thing she’s ever had to explain. “Of course, Lanston. Did you think we would come allthis way just to watch a boring performance? She’s the reason many of the phantoms gather here. A small glimmer of hope.”
I sit with that for a moment. Even as a phantom she insists on pretending to be alive. Bluffing that this audience of living, breathing people are here to see her. An ache settles deep in my chest.
“What’s her name?” I ask, eyes shifting back to the area where she disappeared behind the curtain. My fingers curl into the fabric of my pants as an urge to chase her claws at my soul.
Jericho pulls me closer as the music roars back up around us and drowns out all other noise. He says loudly, “Her name is Ophelia.”
Ophelia.
What a beautiful name—sad, too. Why am I so drawn to melancholic things? She has that same look in her eyes that Wynn did. Not when she craved death, no, but when she found hope and all the reasons to wake up again. To pull herself from the depths of the darkness in her mind.
Tears brim my eyes at the thought of my sweet Wynn, and I quickly drag my sleeve across my face before the others can see.
Why is someone with so much hope in their eyes… dead?She shouldn’t be here, in the land of the forgotten and lonely.Why? It’s not fair. Something as beautiful and talented as she. Her marrow isn’t done with the world yet; she still has so much left to speak—that much is unmistakable through her performance. Her movements are expressive and boisterous with deeper meaning.
I hear you.I want to shout.Your cry for life is deafening.
“Are you okay?” Jericho sets his hand on my shoulder and peers down at me. I shake my head and his grip tightens reassuringly. My lips firm against the trembling that threatens them.
“Oh, Lan,” Poppie says with sorrow as her arms wrap around my neck. “You’re still having a hard time accepting all this, aren’t you? It’s okay. We’re all not ready to be here, but you need to make the most of it,” she whispers against the shell of my ear, and I have to grit my teeth to keep the tears at bay.
Yelina’s face softens and she smiles, more for herself it seems, at a thought that crosses her mind. She cocks her head to the side and offers me her hand as she says, “Should we see if we can find her?”
Jericho adjusts his glasses and smooths back a stray strand of hair before nodding. “A fine idea, Yelina. Nevers would probably enjoy that,” he says, like I’m not standing right next to him, but I ignore it.
I want to meet her—something inside me says that Ihaveto. There are moments in one’s existence when you connect with another in a mere second, something sinks deep into your soul, planting a yearning that may never fade. A song that chills your bones and rattles the blood in your veins.
I must know her.
The four of us exit the building and wrap around to the back. The door is ajar for the performers; two young people share a cigarette near the door and don’t blink as we pass by. It’s something I’m unsure I’ll ever fully get used to, but for now my mind is elsewhere entirely.
“Do you know how she died?” I ask as we walk into the rehearsal area. It looks like a small choir room you might find in a high school, with tiered rows getting higher the closer you get to the back of the room. The carpet is gray and so are the walls. I find most things are gray and dull here. Who’s to say if this is how it looks on the living side? It may very well be a colorful room.
Yelina eyes a group of men in the corner who are warming up their voices. She brings her attention to me and my question.Her eyes flicker with thought and hesitation before she says, “Nope. I don’t know anything about her except that she performs here every year.”
Poppie nods. “Yeah, we heard from a few phantoms the first year we came that a lovely woman danced with her very soul. She always leaves quickly, though, as if in a hurry. So we’ve never gotten to know her. Rumor has it that she’s not very friendly, so we haven’t tried speaking with her.”
I have a feeling she just uses that unfriendliness as a front. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a time in my life that I was abrasive to keep myself safe. I had the idea that if I didn’t let anyone get close, I’d be safe inside my fortress. And that worked for a long time, but it was also incredibly lonely and filled with sorrow.
“We’re all unfriendly at times,” I say mindlessly as my eyes flick across the room for her. I frown. “I don’t think she’s here. Do you think she left already?”
Jericho crosses his arms. “Could be. Let’s split up and meet back here in twenty minutes. If we don’t find her by then, we should just go on with our night. I met a few nice ladies and would happily introduce you to them, Lanston.” Jericho gives me a smirk and raises his brow suggestively. I grimace while Yelina and Poppie simultaneously scoff at him.
