Page 67 of A Ballad of Phantoms and Hope
Ophelia
A few hoursin and Lanston is drunk, singing on the small stage with Jericho’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. The two of them sway, each with a beer in hand.
Yelina makes it back to our corner table and slides another cup of draft beer toward me.
“I’ve never seen him so… himself,” she says as she leans back in the booth. She sighs, shaking her head at the two men as they start singing the next song, “Oh, What a Life”by American Authors.
Lanston’s drunken eyes meet mine and he grins at me like he’ll never look away.
“Really? What’s different?” I ask without breaking my gaze on him.
Yelina laughs and props her elbows on the table. “Himsinging?Are you kidding me?” She takes a swig from her mug. “I think he’s got it bad for you. The question is, how do you feel?”
That grabs my attention. I look over at her and find analyzing eyes. Yelina’s chin is perched on her palm, elbow against the table as she smiles at me.
I take a moment. I love him. More than a heart could bear, I love him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, in a partner to traverse the cold world with. Side by side, we wade through the dark.
Yelina smiles as if she can read my thoughts and says, “What’s keeping you from telling him?”
“This is going to sound stupid, but I’m not deserving of someone like him. I can’t follow him into what lies after like we’re planning.” My lips feel cold as the words come out. I haven’t told him this, and I’m not sure why I feel so comfortable to discuss it with Yelina. But part of me just needs someone else to know.
Her head tilts and she frowns. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not going where good people go… and he is.” I leave it at that.
She stares at me for a long moment. The laughter in the bar is quieter now; the evening has stretched into the late hours.
“You’re right.”
I meet her gaze once more. “Hm?”
“That isstupid.You’re the one who’s been babbling on about howit’s not too late to do things.Fix your fucking faults then. He cares about you, and I’m sick of the excuses.” Yelina’s voice is devoid of warmth and I’m shocked for a moment.
She’s not wrong.
Can I fix them, though? My sins?
My eyes flick back to Lanston and Jericho as they make their way back to our table on swaying legs. The biggest grin I’ve ever seen is plastered on his lips. His laugh twists inside me.
“You’re right,” I say. Yelina sighs and tilts her drink back, finishing it off. A mischievous grin spreads over my lips. “Whatabout you and Jericho? You two have eyes for each other, don’t you?”
She spits her drink all over the table and starts cough-choking. I laugh as the boys slide into the booth, their faces bright with joy.
Jericho looks between the two of us. “What’d we miss? You two look like you’re up to trouble.” He’s trying to hide his laugh beneath his hand as Yelina tries to clear her airways.
She shoots me a death glare and mouths, “Not a word.”
I shrug. “Oh, nothing, just some girl talk.”
Lanston presses close to me, wrapping his arms around my center and resting his head on my shoulder. He nuzzles into my neck and says on a whiskey breath, “I missed you.”
I lift my hand and press my palm to his cheek. He turns his face to my hand and adorns my skin with kisses. Oh, how I’ll cherish these nights forever. An eternity with him would never tire my soul.
“How can phantoms be drunk?” I laugh, trying not to let his under-the-influence sweet talk get too much to my head.
Jericho wraps his arm around Yelina and her cheeks flush red. She says, “Who knows? Do you have to question everything that’s fun?”
Lanston shushes her and straightens beside me. “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to have a curious mind.”
