Page 18 of Leave Me Behind
Eren is our sergeant, so he hangs onto an M16 and pistol, while Bradshaw is our close-range assassin—he gets a fake blade, edged with red for marking his false kills and a silenced M16.
I shut my eyes and let my mind sort out situations we might have. Assuming they’ll be difficult to work with, based on their reluctance to my presence, I think through a few additional scenarios. Of course, nothing is set in stone until we get to the site and see what we have to work with.
No one talks during the flight. We remain silent and on guard for any surprise emergency landings. After an hour I finally let my mind slack off and once I do I become acutely aware of how close we’re all packed in here. Bradshaw’s thigh is pressed against mine and his body heat leaks into me.
A mixture of different emotions thrum through me. I’m torn between wanting to tear his head off and apologizing for the shit I said. Even though he started it… we aren’t children. I should just apologize; I decide I’ll do so once we’re alone tonight.
He takes a deep breath and lets his head fall back against the headrest. His hand is clenched over the fake blade, but it trembles like he’s freezing. I frown and glance up at his face. His mask hides a lot of things—his lips and nose, the sharpness of his cheekbones. But it cannot hide the torment that racks throughhim. His brows are pulled in anguish, his dark lashes pressed firmly together, breath uneven.
I look over our squad in the small chopper and find all their eyes are closed, trying to get rest before we land.
Reluctantly and silently, I place my hand down on Bradshaw’s trembling one. His eyes open instantly and he straightens his back. I see many things in his eyes, loathing and distrust, but more than that, I see a weary, hurting man. Very much unwilling to accept my comfort.
He looks down at his hand clutching the blade like his life depends on it and loosens his hold. The trembling stops so I withdraw my hand. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking, but I wasn’t expecting him to stand up and move to the center of the chopper, preferring to hold the handle attached to the ceiling rather than sit beside me because Itouchedhim.
Bradshaw’s eyes are shadowed as he stares at the floor, looking disgruntled by me.
I can’t fucking stand him.
It’s evident that he’s the real MVP of the squad. The rest of us are expendable. And whether they want me here or not, I plan on executing my purpose flawlessly. Because it’s all I have left—my usefulness.
I’ll get revenge for you, Jenkins. This mission has something to do with Patagonia. I know it.
I’ll paint the sky red for Malum, even if I fucking hate them. As long as I get to stay on the squad.
Eren stands and signals all of us. We stand with our sergeant and get ready to dismount from the chopper. I stand right behind Bradshaw. The sniper rifle is strapped to my back and I hold my pistol with both hands. I check it to ensure all the chambers are filled with the mock bullets. They’re lined with streaks of red down the back to be easily identified. My thoughtshesitate on the fact that they aren’t black, like they always were on the Riøt Squad, before I blink away the memories.
The moment the chopper hits the ground, we move rhythmically. Bradshaw leads the right-end exit while Eren leads the left.
I’m hot on Bradshaw’s heels and do an initial area sweep before seeing the glint of a gun in the foliage. Raising my pistol, I pull the trigger as if it’s as easy as breathing and fire into the brush. Bradshaw fires his M16 from my side; we’re almost back-to-back. My instincts kick in and I spin, checking the far side where Eren’s team is. They stare at us, surprised that we discharged our dummy weapons already. I fire again, twice in the opposite direction and then do a final sweep to be sure before straightening and using a silent hand gesture forclear.
The whole squad looks aghast and stares at us like Bradshaw and me are measuring dicks. In all honesty, we might as well be.
Not Eren, though. His lips pull up at the corners as three men step out from the bushes. They’re wearing camouflage and all have red powder on their foreheads and chests.
Ian’s and Harrison’s jaws fall open. Jefferson’s eyes narrow at me but there’s a new fragment of respect there now. Pete stares at me for a second before letting his eyes shift behind me to Bradshaw. I follow the motion, turning and finding his pale eyes boring holes into me. If I thought the loathing there was bad before, it’s ten times worse now.
I deflate.
What’s it going to take to prove myself to him? I was the only one who was as keen on the enemy’s presence as he was.
“Let’s move out. Bones, Bunny, you two take up the rear,” Eren orders and we follow without question.
Bradshaw jerks his head to let me know to go ahead of him and I don’t argue. Ian walks in front of me. His helmet and gear make him almost indistinguishable from the others, but he has atell in how he lets his foot drag for a fraction of a second before he lifts it. I occasionally get a glimpse of his neck tattoo when he scratches it.
I take in our surroundings. The Rocky Mountains are a tough terrain, very telling for what the environment of the real mission will be like. The woods are thick here, with many sharp rock formations along hillsides and cliffs as we ascend to higher elevations. The cold mountain air is brisk and the wind cuts straight through my gear, chilling me to the bone.
We walk single file through the thick forest brush. It’s darker beneath the canopy of branches, even though the sun hasn’t quite set yet.
It’s cold and miserable—hours of hiking in mostly silence. I’m acutely aware of each step Bradshaw takes behind me. The crunch of the earth beneath his boots, the calculating thoughts inside his mind. I know he’s going to do something to get rid of me, the question is what it will be.
Eren sets a brutal pace and we don’t slow until we reach a thick underbrush that leads back to a rocky cliffside. By the time we get there, my feet ache and it’s pitch black with no moon. We are far away from any civilization.
“Get comfortable, Malum. We’re staying here tonight. I want team watch rotations. Myself and Harrison will take first watch. Stick to your partners… and Bunny?—”
I lift my head and meet Eren’s calm blue eyes.
“Good job today. If this were real, you’d have saved our asses. It’s clear to me why you are so revered,” He praises me, and it’s the first time I’ve received acclaim from a sergeant so openly.
