Page 20 of Leave Me Behind
“You know, I was trying to hook up with Eren,notyou.” I blow out a breath and let my muscles slack. I lean into the tree behind us. “I just wanted one last night of fun, a small pleasure that I could indulge in before my last mission.”
His shoulders tense. “What do you mean yourlastmission? Are you earning your cards out?”
The curve of my lips makes his eyes harden. He thinks I’m even close to earning my cards to a new life?
“No. I just have a feeling it will be my last. We all eventually expire, don’t we?”
I look away, but I can feel his heavy gaze burning into my skin.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you think it will be your last?” His voice is mundane but pushy, nonetheless.
Should I tell him it’s because Iwantit to be my last? Or because Malum goes on missions that most soldiers don’t come back from? Like Achilles. Or should I tell him the truth? That I know with the mission at hand we’ll be going after the asshole who caused Patagonia to go upside down. Sure, Malum blames Riøt for their loss and we blamed them back, but the real enemy is the third party that invaded our operation.
I settle on shrugging.
He stares at me for a few more minutes before dragging his eyes away from me.
The hush around us digs into my skin. I’m glad he’s not much for talking.
seven
. . .
Nell
I lieon my stomach and look through my scope to the valley below. There’s movement. I patiently wait, my camouflage cover heavy on my head. My neck started hurting thirty minutes ago, but I don’t want to readjust in case I miss something critical.
Bodies shift into view below and I verify that it’s the hostile squad.
“Four armed men,” I say in a low voice.
Ian clicks on his radio and mutters the information and the coordinates to Eren. We remain still until we hear back from him.
The radio clicks and Eren’s voice comes through with a small amount of static. “Stand down. We’ll track them on foot tomorrow. Regroup at home base. Over.”
The home base is made up of our shitty underbrush posts and a camouflage tent we were able to establish behind it. The first few days haven’t been so bad, but the night watch sucks. I forgot how tired it makes you. Bradshaw hasn’t uttered a word tome since our first night. It’s awkward, but I think I like it better than the mean shit that comes out of his mouth. My legs ache and my eyelids are heavy, but I can’t let it affect my performance.
“Fuck. All right, well, I guess we better head back then,” Ian says. His black hair is still slicked back neatly, regardless of the paint and mud on his face. His cheeks are covered in dirt, as are mine.
I nod and start packing up my camouflage cover and unloading my sniper. He watches me in silence and I prefer it. There hasn’t been much team bonding so far, even though Eren has strongly encouraged it. Everyone’s been pretty quiet and when there is connecting, it’s between them, not me. Even Bradshaw seems more at ease when he’s speaking with them. Though, he doesn’t speak much at all to anyone. I found him sitting alone with his head hung low this morning, reading a book and leaning against a tree. Meanwhile, his brother is the complete opposite. Eren smiles more than he doesn’t and makes it a point to speak with everyone a few times during the days.
I haven’t decided yet if it’s a manipulation ploy or not. No one smiles that much.
I’ve been able to piece together some things. One of them is that none of our squadmates knows that Bones is Eren’s twin. At first, I wasn’t sure how they couldn’t tell, but the two of them don’t act like brothers while on duty and the difference in the shade of blue in their eyes makes them look unrelated. Add in Bradshaw’s scars and his mask and no one suspects a thing.
“What did you do to get into the dark ops?” Ian breaks the silence. I glance up at him briefly before continuing to put equipment into my backpack.Everyone does something unspeakable to get noticed by the underground.
“How does anyone get in?” I retort. He knows as well as I do. Only bad people get recruited.
“Tell me what you did,” he says firmly, as if this is an interrogation and I’m in the hot seat.
I stand with my gear and rifle strapped to my back. Ian studies my expression with grim eyes. It’s no use; he won’t get anything from it.
It doesn’t hurt to tell him and I know he’ll relay anything he learns about me to the others. They should know too.
