Page 22 of Leave Me Behind
I shut my eyes and even his scent still lingers around me. A cold breeze in a storm. Snapped branches and sap.
A chill shudders across my spine and I turn, finding Bradshaw’s cold, icy eyes set on me. Then dread grows in my chest. There is nothing I wouldn’t give to have Jenkins back. To have him behind me, tracing the lines of my face with his gaze. Cherishing every piece of my soul like no one ever has before. He saw darkness in me and held out a hand to lead me further into the shadows.
“What’s wrong?” Bradshaw asks, surprisingly not as sharp as he usually speaks to me.
I come to a halt and stare at him for a moment. He observes me in equal silence, awaiting my response. “Sometimes I still hear them. Sometimes… I think if I turn around, they’ll still be here.” My lips are chapped and the words taste bitter.
Bradshaw’s eyes dull with understanding. He takes a step closer to me before lifting his hand to my face. I flinch at the nearcontact of his palm against my skin, but he stops himself. A flash of horror flickers through his eyes as he seems to realize that he was about to comfort me. He withdraws his hand and clears his throat.
“Sometimes I dream of them,” he confides, turning his face away from mine. He takes the lead and I follow behind. “Other times I see them in strangers, small things. The way a smile grows or a quirk I thought was only unique to them.”
I consider his words before muttering, “Is that why you’re so angry when you look at me?” He walks for a few moments in silence before curtly nodding.
“You have traits that should only belong to one person.” His voice is callous and raw.
“Who have I stolen from you?” Please don’t let it be his last second. When he doesn’t respond, I swallow the knot in my throat and mutter, “Abrahm.”
He stops like a rock thrown in mud and turns on his heels, fury racing through him. “Don’t say his name. You never knew him.” His shoulders stiffen. I can see it in his eyes. He loved Abrahm as much as I did Jenkins. The pain reflected in his eyes is a mirror of my own misery.
“I can’t help how I am, Bradshaw. As you said, I didn’t know him. The similarities you see are only in your head.” He doesn’t look at all satisfied with my words. “I just want to get along.” I extend my hand out to him, hopeful that he’ll take it.
Bradshaw’s jaw muscles feather and he smacks my hand down. “Let’s get moving,Bunny.”
Asshole.
I let my mind drift as I watch Bradshaw’s frame navigate the uneven terrain. The rocks and trees prove to be difficult and the thick underbrush is relentless. I’m relieved our boots can handle any kind of conditions.
That relief is short-lived when we come upon the last obstacle: another ten-foot, sheer-faced cliffside. My heart drops. There’s no chance of climbing this one. At least the last cliff had rocks to use as leverage. This one is made of flat-faced stones that jut up from the earth. Bradshaw and I share a look. One of us will have to lift the other.
Goddammit.
“I’ll have to go up first.” Bradshaw smooths his hand over the back of his neck as he inspects the cliff. “You can’t pull my body weight up,” he says, then looks down at me like he’s making a point.
I scowl. “Icanpull you up.”
He shakes his head. “I’m going first.” His arms are crossed and his lips are flat with finality. There’s no sense in arguing it, I guess. With an exasperated breath I lean down and cup both hands together.
Bradshaw gets a few steps of a head start before I lever him up. He grips the edge of the cliff and maneuvers himself over the side. I stare up at the ledge, waiting for him to peer down at me and help me up but his head doesn’t appear.
“What are you doing up there?” I shout.
His masked face appears over the edge and when he doesn’t lean down to help me up, an unsettling feeling fills my chest.
“You’re wasting time. Come on, help me up.” I back up and run at the cliffside, jumping and kicking off the wall while reaching. Bradshaw doesn’t offer me his hand.
I fall to the ground, the force knocking the breath from my lungs. I stare up at him in disbelief.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
His mask pulls up where his smile is growing. “Bye-bye, Bunny.”
“You realize we’ll both lose thisbonding exerciseand be forced to stay up all night, right?” I say as vehemently as I can.Emotions grip at my chest; it’s really fucking hard to disregard the things I’ve gone through in the last two days.
He lifts his shoulders, letting them fall as he waves like an asshole. “I’ll just tell them you couldn’t make it over the hill. You’d be a hindrance in the field. Just give up.” My jaw trembles and my fingers curl into the dirt.
I want to scream.
Maybe I can be assigned to the Hades squad.Anyone else’s second other than this monster’s.But this is the only chance I have to avenge Jenkins.I watch as the top of Bradshaw’s head disappears and his steps grow distant. Eren’s going to think I’m not good enough if I’m stuck behind this obstacle. He’ll believe his brother no matter what I say.
