Page 40 of Leave Me Behind
I glance back once to make sure she got out of the water. Her lithe figure steams with the heat of her body.
She might think I broke her tonight, but it’s she who has broken me.
fifteen
. . .
Nell
When I get backto the tent, Bradshaw has already wiped the floor and arranged everything back to how it was. There is no sign of our wrongdoings anywhere.
He’s lying on the cot where Eren left him, staring at the tarp roof. It reminds me that he may have heard what I said earlier around the campfire.
“Did you hear what I told the others earlier?” I ask in a hushed voice.
He hesitates, then slowly nods. It doesn’t seem fair that he heard my story but I’ve yet to hear his. I think about it for a long while as I settle on the cot beside him and look at the same spot he does.
I must fall asleep at some point, because I’m nuzzled awake by a warm hand cupping my wounded side and a finger brushing the crook of my neck, where the collarbone greets the jugular muscle. It’s soft and soothing. For a moment I forget where I am.Who I am. Then I see Bradshaw’s weary eyes; the skin around them is red with restlessness.
A weary man finding comfort in holding me while I sleep. He’s too callous to do it when I’m awake. I know he has a heart that yearns for another.
He studies me in that cold way of his before he pulls away, seeming troubled that I woke to his soft touch. The warmth of his hand on my side fades. Bradshaw turns and faces the other side of the tent. I wonder how long he watched me sleep. Then again, I don’t think I want to know the answer to that.
My core is sore and throbs with pain. I wince as I sit up.
I check my watch and it’s already twenty minutes past my normal night watch shift. Eren said not to worry about it, but I decide I’d rather sit out there with him than risk having a heart-to-heart with Bradshaw. I snag a pair of extra pants from a bag in the corner since Bradshaw cut through mine. Hopefully no one misses them.
Bradshaw doesn’t look back at me as I get up to leave. His shoulders are slumped and he hangs his head. I wonder briefly what could be keeping him up; he’s looked tired all day.
The tent zipper is quiet and I’m able to sneak through the camp without waking anyone. Eren sits with his legs lazily stretched out and his back against the tree we designated as the watch post. He hears me coming but doesn’t bother turning to see who it is. He only lifts his hand in a half-assed wave.
I sit silently beside him, not particularly expecting to have a conversation, but his soft voice is always welcoming.
“Bunny.”
“Sergeant.”
His lip kicks up in a wry grin. I marvel at how strange it is. How un-Bradshaw it is.
“You can call me Eren in private, Nell.” He leans forward and sets his elbows on his knees. “We are a bit past formalities.”
I nod and return the smile. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes before he shifts his posture and looks at me more directly.
“Thanks for staying with him until he relaxed. He’s always calmer when you’re around,” he says genuinely. Eren holds his gun casually, slumped in his lap as he rests his head against the tree behind him.
That almost makes me choke. If only he knew what transpired in that fucking tent. It wasn’t calm. It wasn’t relaxed.
“We don’t really mesh. I think he’ll hate me until one of us dies.” I scowl at Eren’s amused expression. The night air is brisk and sends a shudder down my spine. I wrap my arms around myself and he takes notice.
Eren scoots over smoothly and presses his side against mine. My cheeks warm. He says in a low voice, “You know, Abrahm used to complain about Bones hating him as well.”
I lift my chin, a bit shocked. “Seriously?”
Eren nods. “He has thorns.”
“No kidding.”
A sharp laugh. “You do too, though. And I’m sure that’s one of the reasons why you two clash so much. Yet, I’ve never seen two people work so fluidly together. Completely in sync.” His dark blue eyes shift back to me and he pokes my forehead with his index finger. I blink like an idiot because the notion surprises me. “I’ve also never met such a deadly sniper. You’ve got quite the aim and trigger finger, don’t you?”
