Page 74 of Leave Me Behind
“I’m sorry.”
Bunny stands swiftly. I raise my chin to look up at her and when I do, she decks me in the jaw. My head turns to the right and my skull clammers against the rocks of the cave floor.
“I deserved that.” I rise slowly, wiping my bleeding lip with my bare wrist.
She lifts her arm to punch me again and this time I catch it. She doesn’t miss a beat, her other hand is faster than the first and she slaps my face so hard my teeth dig into my lower lip.
“I hate you!” She screams, an inch from my nose. I shove her back so I can restrain both of her arms. Bunny is strong, but without her weapons she’s not much of a match for me. I’m twice her size. I wrangle her wrists together and tie them up again. I tether her to a large boulder in the corner of the cave and cover her mouth with my hand, being mindful of her teeth and hoping she won’t use them.
I glare at her and say coldly, “I’m telling you this because I care about you, Bun. I’m sick of lying. I don’t give a shit about your squad, but I wanted to tell you because I can’t lie for him anymore. Not when he wanted me to murder you.”
The fight goes out of her eyes and she slumps against the stone, already worn out from the struggle. Her breath is ragged and heavy.
“I’m going to remove my hand now and if you start yelling again I’ll have to tape your mouth shut until we reach the bunker. Understand?”
She nods, hateful tears filling her eyes.
I move my hand and she takes a few deep breaths before muttering in the most broken voice I’ve heard from her, “You knew the whole time?”
A dull ache ricochets in my chest.
“I had a suspicion after you joined our squad that the events were related.” It sounds stupid. I don’t blame her for glaring at me.
Her head lowers. “Is there more?”
My pause is answer enough, but I mumble anyway, “Yeah.”
She doesn’t say anything else, but tears roll down her cheeks and crash against her legs. I force my eyes back to the entrance of the cave.
“There weren’t supposed to be any survivors. But you lived. Eren didn’t find out until a few months ago and he doesn’t like leaving anything unfinished. So he made a few calls and had you recruited to Malum. General Nolan owed him a favor and he promised you’d be safe with us. Eren wanted to use you as insurance to protect me.” My voice seems so loud even though I’m speaking just above a whisper.
Bunny writhes against her restraints, murder in her gaze. She wants to kill me and part of me wishes she would.
“You motherfucker!” She tries to kick me, but I stand before she can land a blow. “Did you know who I was the night we met…”
My fists clench at my sides. “No. I swear, I didn’t know who you were. Eren did, but he didn’t tell me until I stormed into his room that night after we...”
Her eyes are golden pits of fury. “You should’ve killed me… because I’ll never look at you the same.”
“I’m sorry.” My gut twists at how choked up I sound. What use is an apology now?
“Insurance from who? Who’s fucking after you two?!”
“I don’t know.”The truth.Her eyes narrow with doubt. “There are things Eren even keeps from me, Bun. My brother has made an enemy that actually keeps him up at night. I’ve never pressed him on it. He’d never tell me anyway.”
She thinks for a long time in silence. Until the sun sets and our clothes have partially dried. I get dressed and help her with her clothes before binding her wrists again. We leave the cave and walk for hours in the direction of the second bunker.
She’s quiet for so long that it startles me when she finally speaks.
“The only good Riøt soldier is a dead one,” she says coldly, in the exact tone as I used before.
Guilt settles like a beast in my chest. There are no words I can say that will bring her comfort.
“You two are the reason my squad is dead.”
I face her, my blood hot. “No. I’m not. My brother maybe, but not me.”
Her eyes soften a moment before she swallows and gives me a regretful smile. “A black bullet killed Abrahm.” Her voice breaks.
