Page 27 of Once Upon a Demon's Heart
My lips flatten. “I usually don’t eat much during travel, especially when my heat is off and on. I get too nauseous on horseback.”
He only sighs and mutters, “Needy little godling.” But there’s no animosity in his tone. His voice is smooth and the length against my back throbs again. I swallow and try as hard as I can not to grind into it.
Sweat slips down my forehead as he lets his lips move across my shoulder, drawing chills down my spine.
“You can drink my blood, I’m fine. I’ll eat in the morning… and I’ve been meaning to thank you.” I slide my hand down so it’s on top of his.
He breathes heavy, lips parted, begging to consume me. His hand is still massaging my abdomen. “For?” he murmurs like he can’t imagine what I would thank a demon like him for.
“You didn’t need to keep my necklace, or return it to me, but you did. You didn’t need to warm me up either, but you are. Thank you.” I desperately want things between us to be less volatile. I don’t know if that will ever be possible. And I’m okay with not being close, but the nonstop hatred I could go without.
He gnashes his teeth together so hard that I hear it. A chill crawls up my neck.
“I’m doing this to end the war,notfor you. I need you in peak health, because my children will have to grow here.” His tone is dark as he palms my abdomen for emphasis, and it actually feels good. My features twist, why did I like hearing that so much? “My children will know you as their mother, they will feed from your breasts and fall asleep to your songs. I won’t have them believing me to be a monster. I want them to know I am kind. That we ended the horrors and deaths between our kind by creating them.” Kalel sounds miserable as he says it.
My chest sinks.
I know he hates this as much as I do, but I’m relieved it’s him and not anyone else. His mother was in Thornhall when I raided, and I doubt that’s something he will ever forgive me for.
“I’m sorry, Kalel. You must’ve had to sacrifice so much for this… is there a lover waiting for you back in Devicit?” I never thought about it. Maybe because I never had someone waiting for me. The knights in Alzhor were almost all single. We didn’t really do relationship acts that mortals and demonsdo. Demigods aren’t known to… well, love, I guess. We’re just naturally not very affectionate. I mean, look at our parents. They never cared to know us.
So why do I long for it? For the warm embraces and the nights no longer alone. Forhisarms. I don’t understand my own feelings. No one has ever taught me how.
He’s quiet for some time before murmuring, “No, I find mating and marriage to be an utter waste of time. I’m doing this for my kingdom, for vengeance.”
“Why? Don’t you crave affection and love? I thought demons were as utterly lovesick for each other as the mortals are?”
Kalel doesn’t respond, but his fingers curl into my side a bit. I expected as much. He doesn’t want to open up just as much as I don’t want to.
Deep wounds, I suppose.
He slides his hand from me and nudges my back. “You should try to eat something before bed.”
“Okay,” I whisper, grabbing the spare set of clothes that I have and slipping into them. A small cold shudder still lingers in my bones, but I’m warm for the most part.
I turn to face Kalel, he’s leaned over with his hands threaded together, elbows on his knees, blanket bundled in his lap. He looks lost in a sea of somber thoughts. “Kalel.”
His eyes slowly lift to mine, hollow and empty. Ethereal. Gold blood is smeared over his chest, reminding me that I should visit the healer tonight like he suggested after he applied the ointment earlier.
I clear my throat. “I know you didn’t do it for me, but I’m still grateful. Thank you.” My lips curl into a weak smile. He stares at me, eyes narrowing, filled with dreary thoughts. He doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t say anything cruel either, so I count it as a win.
Small steps.I remind myself.
The camp moves slowly.The last tendrils of twilight are already fading into dusk. I frown at the lost time as I head to the meal station. There are only a few knights still out, sitting around the last couple of campfires and speaking in low voices.
Tessa lingers around the meal station, helping the people on food duty get everything packed up. She throws on a smile at the sight of me. “There you are. I was wondering where you’ve been. Here,” she mumbles as she bends down and retrieves a bowl of soup that’s been set to the side. Her brows pinch together. “It’s cooled down, but you can warm it up over a fire.” She nods toward the one closest to Kalel’s tent.
I gratefully take the bowl even though I’m not hungry. With a forced smile I murmur, “Thank you for thinking of me.”
Tessa shakes her head and waves me off. “It’s part of my duties to make sure you’re properly cared for. Are you okay? I saw you and the commander walking back into camp. A few knights aren’t accounted for, so I sort of put two and two together.” Her voice lowers as she says the latter.
The cold inches its way back into my chest. Is she going to try to attack me when I admit that I killed them? “Um…” I try to think of something to say but she shakes her head with a grim smile.
“I know how angry some of our knights are with the way the war panned out. We anticipated that some of them might try to ambush you. Don’t worry about it, Kalel will brief us in the morning about it. Go enjoy your meal.” She brushes her hair from her face and leaves a grease mark on her cheek. I admire how hard she works, even helping with the food rations.
I give her a small nod and take the meal back to the fire. The bowls are made of metal, so I note that I’ll have to be careful once it’s warmed up.
I sit as close as I can and let my hands soak in the radiating heat.What a fucking day.Kalel still needs to feed and then I can finally get some rest. What will our days look like once we reach Devicit? I’ll have an abundance of time on my hands since I’ll no longer be a knight.
